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General Parenting
Giving choices is hard for my difficult child - I need advice...
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 167785" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I like how Marguerite explained that one choice cuts off the options of the other choice. It is like being on vacation in Disney World and asking on the very first day what should be done that day, Magic Kingdom or Animal Planet? Kids want both. They think whichever I choose, maybe something will happen and I won't ever be able to get to do the other option? They want all the fun they can pack into one day. They haven't learned that there may be another time for the other option.</p><p> </p><p>Your difficult child is still young. She is just not ready for choices yet. You can prepare her by spending the next few weeks explaining to her why you made a choice you hope she can make. "We are going to have toast and juice this morning because we are out of milk." "It is cold out today so you should wear pants instead of shorts." "There is so much to do at Disney World, I made a calendar so that we will not miss anything, let's see what is on the calendar for today."</p><p> </p><p>Then, choose one daily thing for her to choose such as giving her two outfits to choose one to wear, or having her pick out the vegetable for the evening meal, or choosing the bed time snack. You can give the other option a home: "Here are two outfits, one for today and one for tomorrow, which one do you want to wear today? Same with evening snack, Here are two choices, which one do you want for tonight and which one should we save to tomorrow?" It might help to know that she is not missing out on the 2nd choice.</p><p> </p><p>Once she is comfortable with that daily decision, you can start adding other times for choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 167785, member: 5096"] I like how Marguerite explained that one choice cuts off the options of the other choice. It is like being on vacation in Disney World and asking on the very first day what should be done that day, Magic Kingdom or Animal Planet? Kids want both. They think whichever I choose, maybe something will happen and I won't ever be able to get to do the other option? They want all the fun they can pack into one day. They haven't learned that there may be another time for the other option. Your difficult child is still young. She is just not ready for choices yet. You can prepare her by spending the next few weeks explaining to her why you made a choice you hope she can make. "We are going to have toast and juice this morning because we are out of milk." "It is cold out today so you should wear pants instead of shorts." "There is so much to do at Disney World, I made a calendar so that we will not miss anything, let's see what is on the calendar for today." Then, choose one daily thing for her to choose such as giving her two outfits to choose one to wear, or having her pick out the vegetable for the evening meal, or choosing the bed time snack. You can give the other option a home: "Here are two outfits, one for today and one for tomorrow, which one do you want to wear today? Same with evening snack, Here are two choices, which one do you want for tonight and which one should we save to tomorrow?" It might help to know that she is not missing out on the 2nd choice. Once she is comfortable with that daily decision, you can start adding other times for choices. [/QUOTE]
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Giving choices is hard for my difficult child - I need advice...
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