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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 258238" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Welcome to the board.</p><p>Your son is a typical Aspie. He's not narcistic. Aspies simply can not relate to other people well--it's part of their disaility--so they may seem all about themselves. However it is NOT a psychiatric problem like narcism. It is a neurological difference. My own son is on the spectrum. At almost 16, he is very young for his age, doesn't make good eye contact, still likes cartoons, isn't interested in girls (he may never like people e nough to want to get married and thinks dating is a waste of time), is very quiet, etc. You just explained Aspergers Syndrome. It is hard to get close to Aspies, but you can if you don't have expectations that he will behave like a typical teenager. It isn't going to happen. If you join his world, you can have a close relationship, but you can't change him. He is wired differently. You can not make him that teen boy who dates a lot and plays football and cares about how he looks because of the girls and is outgoing. THese kids really struggle with social issues and most are very introverted or else inappropriate when they socialize and often have few friends. But many have good, fulfilling lives, just not the lives we thought about when we heard we had a baby boy. </p><p>Grief groups can help come to terms with children who have disabilities. Hoping his Aspergers will go away will not help you. I suggest going a lot of reading about Aspergers. I love Aspies. We adopted our boy and I wouldn't trade him for ten "typical" boys. I love him the way he is. And my son, although bright, will probably not go to a four year college and may need assisted living. This is common. Your son has a disability and you are having a hard time accepting him for who and what he is. I think you need to get some therapy. You are rejecting him in my opinion because he isn't like the boy of your dreams...we all understand the initial disappointment. Word: You can't make him catch up to his peers. Aspergers is a pervasive developmental disability--it is on the autism spectrum---he will mature, but far more slowly than his peers, and he may never completely reach adulthood. It's hard to say at his age.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 258238, member: 1550"] Welcome to the board. Your son is a typical Aspie. He's not narcistic. Aspies simply can not relate to other people well--it's part of their disaility--so they may seem all about themselves. However it is NOT a psychiatric problem like narcism. It is a neurological difference. My own son is on the spectrum. At almost 16, he is very young for his age, doesn't make good eye contact, still likes cartoons, isn't interested in girls (he may never like people e nough to want to get married and thinks dating is a waste of time), is very quiet, etc. You just explained Aspergers Syndrome. It is hard to get close to Aspies, but you can if you don't have expectations that he will behave like a typical teenager. It isn't going to happen. If you join his world, you can have a close relationship, but you can't change him. He is wired differently. You can not make him that teen boy who dates a lot and plays football and cares about how he looks because of the girls and is outgoing. THese kids really struggle with social issues and most are very introverted or else inappropriate when they socialize and often have few friends. But many have good, fulfilling lives, just not the lives we thought about when we heard we had a baby boy. Grief groups can help come to terms with children who have disabilities. Hoping his Aspergers will go away will not help you. I suggest going a lot of reading about Aspergers. I love Aspies. We adopted our boy and I wouldn't trade him for ten "typical" boys. I love him the way he is. And my son, although bright, will probably not go to a four year college and may need assisted living. This is common. Your son has a disability and you are having a hard time accepting him for who and what he is. I think you need to get some therapy. You are rejecting him in my opinion because he isn't like the boy of your dreams...we all understand the initial disappointment. Word: You can't make him catch up to his peers. Aspergers is a pervasive developmental disability--it is on the autism spectrum---he will mature, but far more slowly than his peers, and he may never completely reach adulthood. It's hard to say at his age. [/QUOTE]
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