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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 738401" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Li. What a poignant post.</p><p></p><p>What you went through is so real to me. I am not sure why. That apartment, where he had to walk. The multiple jobs. Lost. I had a mental picture of all of it. Job Corps. The fat guy who was at your house. When sister in law dropped son off at the motel in the middle of nowhere. Your agony. The bbq or party outside. When son was with Jabber's parents. All of it, to me, engraved itself in my mind. It is like yesterday.</p><p></p><p>And then all of a sudden, everything on the back burner. The scary part when he left. Without a plan. Or with the only plan--the pot. And so quickly: Just a simmer. Son staying in then girlfriend's dorm. Yes. There was anxiety, but not of the dangerous sort. All.of.the.drama.just.got sucked.out.of.it. And I really do not understand how and why.</p><p></p><p>But let me speak to your two points.</p><p></p><p>First, lest we feel bad. How could we? With all that suffering in the rear view mirror? We lived it all with you, and your good result, is ours.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure if what I feel is hope. Because my son's result is independent of your own.</p><p></p><p>But I feel respect for you. You pulled back. Way back. Yes. You credit the ID issue as forcing the issue. But I do not believe that. You basically let him live, and you took yourself out of it, and you let him deal with his life, and solve his own problems. And boy oh boy did he step up.</p><p></p><p>So more than anything, i acknowledge you for modeling that. Because that is available TO ANY ONE of us. And it is completely independent of a result. IT COULD HAVE GONE EITHER WAY. As it still could. Which is the real truth which you TELL.</p><p></p><p>Which is Swot's point. At any point our kids can make different choices. For good or ill. That is the (bitter?) pill we have to swallow. I am reading the bible now. It is helping me cope. I came up with that as an alternative to online shopping or the news, to help me cope with anxiety and sadness. Duh.</p><p></p><p>Well. One take away is this: Gee those people (Genesis) sure had trouble with their kids. So. That helps. We are dealing with the human condition. Hellllllloooo. I feel kind of sheepish here that I have been making a big deal, like I am some personage of biblical proportions.</p><p></p><p>But actually, that is really how our stories feel to me: I mean. We dwell on the twists and turns, like the import is titanic. Because it is.</p><p></p><p>So. that is how I feel about your story. I am part of it. As you are part of mine. A conversation about life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 738401, member: 18958"] Li. What a poignant post. What you went through is so real to me. I am not sure why. That apartment, where he had to walk. The multiple jobs. Lost. I had a mental picture of all of it. Job Corps. The fat guy who was at your house. When sister in law dropped son off at the motel in the middle of nowhere. Your agony. The bbq or party outside. When son was with Jabber's parents. All of it, to me, engraved itself in my mind. It is like yesterday. And then all of a sudden, everything on the back burner. The scary part when he left. Without a plan. Or with the only plan--the pot. And so quickly: Just a simmer. Son staying in then girlfriend's dorm. Yes. There was anxiety, but not of the dangerous sort. All.of.the.drama.just.got sucked.out.of.it. And I really do not understand how and why. But let me speak to your two points. First, lest we feel bad. How could we? With all that suffering in the rear view mirror? We lived it all with you, and your good result, is ours. I am not sure if what I feel is hope. Because my son's result is independent of your own. But I feel respect for you. You pulled back. Way back. Yes. You credit the ID issue as forcing the issue. But I do not believe that. You basically let him live, and you took yourself out of it, and you let him deal with his life, and solve his own problems. And boy oh boy did he step up. So more than anything, i acknowledge you for modeling that. Because that is available TO ANY ONE of us. And it is completely independent of a result. IT COULD HAVE GONE EITHER WAY. As it still could. Which is the real truth which you TELL. Which is Swot's point. At any point our kids can make different choices. For good or ill. That is the (bitter?) pill we have to swallow. I am reading the bible now. It is helping me cope. I came up with that as an alternative to online shopping or the news, to help me cope with anxiety and sadness. Duh. Well. One take away is this: Gee those people (Genesis) sure had trouble with their kids. So. That helps. We are dealing with the human condition. Hellllllloooo. I feel kind of sheepish here that I have been making a big deal, like I am some personage of biblical proportions. But actually, that is really how our stories feel to me: I mean. We dwell on the twists and turns, like the import is titanic. Because it is. So. that is how I feel about your story. I am part of it. As you are part of mine. A conversation about life. [/QUOTE]
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