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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 669603" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I know. Because if it was you, you could change, and you could fix it. </p><p></p><p>I think that is why we hold on to the responsibility and even the guilt. Because it gives us a false sense of control over something in the face of which we are powerless. </p><p></p><p>Like children are neglected or abused. The feel it is their fault because they are bad. So that they do not have to face that no one loves them enough to take care of them, or to do so, well.</p><p>It is like that game of children. You hold onto the rope and pull. And another child or children is pulling on the other side--and they let go, and you fall. </p><p></p><p>Everything in us has been pulling on that rope--with our children on the other side. They learn to believe that their choices, even identities are tied to our pulling our weight in their lives, for them. When we let go, they have to carry their weight.</p><p></p><p>And us? We fall.</p><p></p><p>My son did go to the University Liver clinic and did get his blood work done. It was pending whether or not the doctor would accept him back as a patient. On Friday the clinic called here for my son. The doctor will give him an appointment.</p><p></p><p>I am fearful that the blood work shows his liver is in trouble.</p><p></p><p>Be careful what you wish for: My wish was that he get his blood work done. Because that is facing reality. Now I am afraid of what the reality will be. I have not called him. </p><p></p><p>I will try not to call as long as I can hold out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 669603, member: 18958"] I know. Because if it was you, you could change, and you could fix it. I think that is why we hold on to the responsibility and even the guilt. Because it gives us a false sense of control over something in the face of which we are powerless. Like children are neglected or abused. The feel it is their fault because they are bad. So that they do not have to face that no one loves them enough to take care of them, or to do so, well. It is like that game of children. You hold onto the rope and pull. And another child or children is pulling on the other side--and they let go, and you fall. Everything in us has been pulling on that rope--with our children on the other side. They learn to believe that their choices, even identities are tied to our pulling our weight in their lives, for them. When we let go, they have to carry their weight. And us? We fall. My son did go to the University Liver clinic and did get his blood work done. It was pending whether or not the doctor would accept him back as a patient. On Friday the clinic called here for my son. The doctor will give him an appointment. I am fearful that the blood work shows his liver is in trouble. Be careful what you wish for: My wish was that he get his blood work done. Because that is facing reality. Now I am afraid of what the reality will be. I have not called him. I will try not to call as long as I can hold out. [/QUOTE]
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