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Substance Abuse
Going on two weeks of very little contact...
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 698490" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Colleen. </p><p>Yes, his choices lay before him...but's that's it...they are before HIM. He got what you were saying, he already knows that's what you want for him of course. Maybe, in the back of his mind that's what he wants for him. But he doesn't want it enough yet. </p><p>I get your feeling of disgust seeing where they are living, been there. Our son always "talked big", he'd live in a great house, have a fancy car etc. He never said "I'll live in a flophouse with no heat, electric,water, squatting with fifty yr old men who look eighty..." Yet, how will they ever possibly know where this road will take them if they don't see this side? Will they continue to feel entitled to break the law, not work and in general "do what they want when they want"?</p><p>That is not how society works.</p><p></p><p>When our Difficult Child was a toddler we attempted to teach him colors. A hard concept with this kid. The older children had caught on easily, so that's what I expected. No matter how many times I identified blue as "blue", he said yellow, red, green, etc, etc, etc...Did he think blue was the name of the object I pointed to? Did he not remember it was blue? Did it look orange to him?</p><p> I realized I couldn't see what he was seeing...<strong>.</strong>still can't.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you today, try to look for the good in both sons being out of the house. We are grateful for empty nest after all the years of stress. </p><p>There's a family circle cartoon on my fridge...where the wife looks at husband saying, "When the children are all grown and leave home, we two will be all we have left". He replies "We two were all we had to start with".</p><p> It is possible to progress to a new season. It's going to be alright. prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 698490, member: 20054"] Hi Colleen. Yes, his choices lay before him...but's that's it...they are before HIM. He got what you were saying, he already knows that's what you want for him of course. Maybe, in the back of his mind that's what he wants for him. But he doesn't want it enough yet. I get your feeling of disgust seeing where they are living, been there. Our son always "talked big", he'd live in a great house, have a fancy car etc. He never said "I'll live in a flophouse with no heat, electric,water, squatting with fifty yr old men who look eighty..." Yet, how will they ever possibly know where this road will take them if they don't see this side? Will they continue to feel entitled to break the law, not work and in general "do what they want when they want"? That is not how society works. When our Difficult Child was a toddler we attempted to teach him colors. A hard concept with this kid. The older children had caught on easily, so that's what I expected. No matter how many times I identified blue as "blue", he said yellow, red, green, etc, etc, etc...Did he think blue was the name of the object I pointed to? Did he not remember it was blue? Did it look orange to him? I realized I couldn't see what he was seeing...[B].[/B]still can't. Hugs to you today, try to look for the good in both sons being out of the house. We are grateful for empty nest after all the years of stress. There's a family circle cartoon on my fridge...where the wife looks at husband saying, "When the children are all grown and leave home, we two will be all we have left". He replies "We two were all we had to start with". It is possible to progress to a new season. It's going to be alright. prayers. [/QUOTE]
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