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Good article on myths of adopted children
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 221470" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>I'm kind of on the fence about studies like these. On the one hand, it does make sense that there could be issues with adopted foster kids. These kids were removed from their birth families for usually not so good reasons so it would make sense that the possibility for problems would be there. NOT that the reasons are the children's fault but just that sometimes people, even without mental illness, are going to have problems dealing with or getting beyond past abuses. But then again, there are people out there who had awful childhoods until put into the system and adopted, and turned out very well adjusted. And people that should have been in the system and weren't but still turned out well.</p><p></p><p>The same could be said for bio children though. How many of us know (or have) kids that have been raised in loving, safe homes and still behave in ways that are different than how they were taught. I guess it kind of relates to the whole nature/nurture debate. It can really go either way in all types of situations. I think some of it depends on the individual and his/her outlook and attitude is on their life and situation.</p><p></p><p>On a personal note....I have wondered over the years if things would have been different with difficult child had we gotten him at an earlier age. Yes, partly because he wouldn't have gone through some of the things he went through but also partly for another reason. He was 9 when he came to live with us and, looking back, wasn't the most stable kid at the time. I have never felt that we really bonded and I can't help but wonder if that made a difference for either of us. For his part I wonder if that just added to his "I don't care" attitude and for my part, hard as it is to admit thinking this, I wonder if I would have been more ferocious in demanding help for him. Logically, I know we've done so much for him but I still doubt myself at times.</p><p></p><p>Sigh. I don't know. This subject has so many factors and some only apply here while others only apply there. I don't think there is one hard and fast rule of what can or does happen in these situations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 221470, member: 2459"] I'm kind of on the fence about studies like these. On the one hand, it does make sense that there could be issues with adopted foster kids. These kids were removed from their birth families for usually not so good reasons so it would make sense that the possibility for problems would be there. NOT that the reasons are the children's fault but just that sometimes people, even without mental illness, are going to have problems dealing with or getting beyond past abuses. But then again, there are people out there who had awful childhoods until put into the system and adopted, and turned out very well adjusted. And people that should have been in the system and weren't but still turned out well. The same could be said for bio children though. How many of us know (or have) kids that have been raised in loving, safe homes and still behave in ways that are different than how they were taught. I guess it kind of relates to the whole nature/nurture debate. It can really go either way in all types of situations. I think some of it depends on the individual and his/her outlook and attitude is on their life and situation. On a personal note....I have wondered over the years if things would have been different with difficult child had we gotten him at an earlier age. Yes, partly because he wouldn't have gone through some of the things he went through but also partly for another reason. He was 9 when he came to live with us and, looking back, wasn't the most stable kid at the time. I have never felt that we really bonded and I can't help but wonder if that made a difference for either of us. For his part I wonder if that just added to his "I don't care" attitude and for my part, hard as it is to admit thinking this, I wonder if I would have been more ferocious in demanding help for him. Logically, I know we've done so much for him but I still doubt myself at times. Sigh. I don't know. This subject has so many factors and some only apply here while others only apply there. I don't think there is one hard and fast rule of what can or does happen in these situations. [/QUOTE]
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Good article on myths of adopted children
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