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Good & Interesting article about sociopaths
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 86786" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Very interesting.</p><p></p><p>My little sister was married to a sociopath. In fact, she was so concerned about the marriage that they went to counseling b4, the counselor pulled her aside and told her to get out of the relationship, and she married him anyway! They're now divorced.</p><p>He was quite the charmer. Very funny. Won every award at every job, then ended up getting fired. Time after time.</p><p></p><p>He spent half of his $ on his horses, but yelled at my sister for spending $ on their baby. He drove her brand new car and dented it, after having fallen asleep at the wheel, and blew it off as a joke. He took weekend trips to Vegas and slept around (or so we think). And he had tons of 1-900 #s on the ph bill. </p><p>The first time I met him, I knew something was wrong. He just tried too hard-tried to find out everything about us and then imitate it. First time he met my mom at dinner, he got her # right away--decided to drink her under the table. They were both sloshed but it worked--she liked him from that moment on.</p><p></p><p>When they went through their divorce, he truly didn't "get it." He was a passed master at manipulation and thrived on pity. When they were going through the divorce, he called me and most of my sister's friends, complained that he didn't understand why she was so mad at him, and often threatened to kill himself.</p><p></p><p>I recall yrs ago, reading a theory that if you don't develop a conscience by a certain age, it's too late. It's now been altered by the psychiatric community to be a more long-term thing--I can't remember the exact developmental milestones, but it starts around 3 and peaks at 12 or so.</p><p>I'll do a search online to see if I can find any ideas about babies who are born that way; things have changed so much over the yrs. (The suitcase exhibit being but one example.)</p><p></p><p>When reading this, I had to remind myself that many of these characteristics could describe <em><strong>normal children</strong></em>! But they do not describe <em>normal adults. I think that's the main thing to remember.</em></p><p></p><p>This is a good list from the article:</p><p></p><p>1. Do you often feel used by the person?</p><p></p><p>2. Have you often felt that he (or she) doesn't care about you?</p><p></p><p>3. Does he lie and deceive you?</p><p></p><p>4. Does he tend to make contradictory statements?</p><p></p><p>5. Does he tend to take from you and not give back much?</p><p></p><p>6. Does he often appeal to pity? Does he seem to try to make you feel sorry for him?</p><p></p><p>7. Does he try to make you feel guilty?</p><p></p><p>8. Do you sometimes feel he is taking advantage of your good nature?</p><p></p><p>9. Does he seem easily bored and need constant stimulation?</p><p></p><p>10. Does he use a lot of flattery? Does he interact with you in a way that makes you feel flattered even if he says nothing overtly complimentary?</p><p></p><p>11. Does he make you feel worried? Does he do it obviously or more cleverly and sneakily?</p><p></p><p>12. Does he give you the impression you owe him?</p><p></p><p>13. Does he chronically fail to take responsibility for harming others? Does he blame everyone and everything but himself?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 86786, member: 3419"] Very interesting. My little sister was married to a sociopath. In fact, she was so concerned about the marriage that they went to counseling b4, the counselor pulled her aside and told her to get out of the relationship, and she married him anyway! They're now divorced. He was quite the charmer. Very funny. Won every award at every job, then ended up getting fired. Time after time. He spent half of his $ on his horses, but yelled at my sister for spending $ on their baby. He drove her brand new car and dented it, after having fallen asleep at the wheel, and blew it off as a joke. He took weekend trips to Vegas and slept around (or so we think). And he had tons of 1-900 #s on the ph bill. The first time I met him, I knew something was wrong. He just tried too hard-tried to find out everything about us and then imitate it. First time he met my mom at dinner, he got her # right away--decided to drink her under the table. They were both sloshed but it worked--she liked him from that moment on. When they went through their divorce, he truly didn't "get it." He was a passed master at manipulation and thrived on pity. When they were going through the divorce, he called me and most of my sister's friends, complained that he didn't understand why she was so mad at him, and often threatened to kill himself. I recall yrs ago, reading a theory that if you don't develop a conscience by a certain age, it's too late. It's now been altered by the psychiatric community to be a more long-term thing--I can't remember the exact developmental milestones, but it starts around 3 and peaks at 12 or so. I'll do a search online to see if I can find any ideas about babies who are born that way; things have changed so much over the yrs. (The suitcase exhibit being but one example.) When reading this, I had to remind myself that many of these characteristics could describe [i][b]normal children[/b][/i]! But they do not describe [i]normal adults. I think that's the main thing to remember.[/i] This is a good list from the article: 1. Do you often feel used by the person? 2. Have you often felt that he (or she) doesn't care about you? 3. Does he lie and deceive you? 4. Does he tend to make contradictory statements? 5. Does he tend to take from you and not give back much? 6. Does he often appeal to pity? Does he seem to try to make you feel sorry for him? 7. Does he try to make you feel guilty? 8. Do you sometimes feel he is taking advantage of your good nature? 9. Does he seem easily bored and need constant stimulation? 10. Does he use a lot of flattery? Does he interact with you in a way that makes you feel flattered even if he says nothing overtly complimentary? 11. Does he make you feel worried? Does he do it obviously or more cleverly and sneakily? 12. Does he give you the impression you owe him? 13. Does he chronically fail to take responsibility for harming others? Does he blame everyone and everything but himself? [/QUOTE]
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