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Good mtng with-teacher; great mtng with-pediatrician
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 196133" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>difficult child 3 is a bit further down the path than your guys, from the sound of it.</p><p></p><p>I could show difficult child 3 a test and tell him his teacher was giving him another chance to do it. difficult child 3 would get that, but he would probably either write in exactly the same answers, or he would refuse to do it (knowing he WOULD write in the same answers!)</p><p></p><p>What we've found with difficult child 3 - what work he does, he remembers. For years. His current placement is correspondence, otherwise it's fairly normal in terms of different teachers for different subjects, with work being sent out by mail. Sometimes a teacher will send out work from a different year, if a student is working differently. For example, when we were in NZ last year his science teacher deliberately sent difficult child 3 some work on plate tectonics from 2 years ahead, because it was highly relevant. SO when/if difficult child 3 gets to that work next year, I know he will tell me to send it back with a note, "done two years previously, in June 2007".</p><p></p><p>What DOES happen with difficult child 3 - when he gets his work back from the teacher after it's been corrected, he downs tools and sits there, going over his returned work and reading any comments. he checks the answers - if a teacher has marked him wrong i KNOW difficult child 3 will double-check because a couple of times I've heard him on the phone to his teacher to 'discuss' this. Sometimes the first I hear, is difficult child 3's voice from our computer room, "Mr S, you owe me an apology. You marked me wrong in Question 5 and I got it right. You did your calculations wrong - it should have been..." and so on. Luckily the teachers understand the autism well, they don't take this as insolence in any way. I HAVE later suggested to difficult child 3 that a more diplomatic approach will make it easier to get the communication he wants, then we role-play it for a minute or two. Especially if it turned out that difficult child 3 was wrong, and the teacher was right. I then say, "See? If you hadn't started out with, 'you owe me an apology' then you wouldn't have needed to apologist in return. You can always say later, 'you owe me an apology' if you should need to. But it's good to always give people the chance to think of this first for themselves. Then an apology form them, unprompted, will mean so much more, because you didn't have to remind them."</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 has failed the occasional maths test because he just wasn't able to work well that day. He didn't get a chance to re-sit - perhaps because it would have been too unfair to the other kids (a lot of whom have similar problems - hence they're in correspondence). </p><p></p><p>We have to remember that the ultimate goal of education is for our children to LEARN. Sometimes their marks don't accurately reflect how well they are learning. Often their IQ score doesn't reflect their true capability - difficult child 3 'failed' his first IQ test because he was only 4 and still mostly non-verbal. He just did not have the receptive language capability to understand the verbal instructions. Ironically, if he had been given the questions in writing, he would have done well. He also failed the mazes section even though he was brilliant at mazes even then (we had a maze-generating program on our computer) because he didn't have the pencil skills to complete a maze without occasionally touching a line. Frankly, I think it should have been scored with his clear INTENTION to draw the line that solved the maze correctly - it was obviously NOT an error due to a mistake on where the line was supposed to go. You could see the pencil line immediately come back onto the correct path. We know that his problems with handwriting are a muscular thing - how can that be included in an IQ assessment? Bizarre!</p><p></p><p>With taking the maths test again - I would reconsider, at least talk to the teacher. If he would give the same answers again, then there is no point. But if he can understand it's s second chance, he can put in more correct answers, then he might be more comfortable. But it IS bending a rule he is probably not comfortable about breaking - a rule on cheating, being unfair to the other kids - so it might not be good to force the issue.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps a better option could be for the teacher to sit with him and go over his mistakes. If, on the basis of this, she decides to amend his mark (because he clearly understood something he didn't attempt) then fair enough. It's HER option then. But he might still object because it's not done for the other kids.</p><p></p><p>Again, it comes back to - are we after marks, or after a good learning outcome?</p><p></p><p>After having had years and years of this, I'm certain that a part of my brain is now permanently set on autism mode. I can switch into it at will and know how they are thinking and how they will react. It can be useful - but my friends find it infuriating!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 196133, member: 1991"] difficult child 3 is a bit further down the path than your guys, from the sound of it. I could show difficult child 3 a test and tell him his teacher was giving him another chance to do it. difficult child 3 would get that, but he would probably either write in exactly the same answers, or he would refuse to do it (knowing he WOULD write in the same answers!) What we've found with difficult child 3 - what work he does, he remembers. For years. His current placement is correspondence, otherwise it's fairly normal in terms of different teachers for different subjects, with work being sent out by mail. Sometimes a teacher will send out work from a different year, if a student is working differently. For example, when we were in NZ last year his science teacher deliberately sent difficult child 3 some work on plate tectonics from 2 years ahead, because it was highly relevant. SO when/if difficult child 3 gets to that work next year, I know he will tell me to send it back with a note, "done two years previously, in June 2007". What DOES happen with difficult child 3 - when he gets his work back from the teacher after it's been corrected, he downs tools and sits there, going over his returned work and reading any comments. he checks the answers - if a teacher has marked him wrong i KNOW difficult child 3 will double-check because a couple of times I've heard him on the phone to his teacher to 'discuss' this. Sometimes the first I hear, is difficult child 3's voice from our computer room, "Mr S, you owe me an apology. You marked me wrong in Question 5 and I got it right. You did your calculations wrong - it should have been..." and so on. Luckily the teachers understand the autism well, they don't take this as insolence in any way. I HAVE later suggested to difficult child 3 that a more diplomatic approach will make it easier to get the communication he wants, then we role-play it for a minute or two. Especially if it turned out that difficult child 3 was wrong, and the teacher was right. I then say, "See? If you hadn't started out with, 'you owe me an apology' then you wouldn't have needed to apologist in return. You can always say later, 'you owe me an apology' if you should need to. But it's good to always give people the chance to think of this first for themselves. Then an apology form them, unprompted, will mean so much more, because you didn't have to remind them." difficult child 3 has failed the occasional maths test because he just wasn't able to work well that day. He didn't get a chance to re-sit - perhaps because it would have been too unfair to the other kids (a lot of whom have similar problems - hence they're in correspondence). We have to remember that the ultimate goal of education is for our children to LEARN. Sometimes their marks don't accurately reflect how well they are learning. Often their IQ score doesn't reflect their true capability - difficult child 3 'failed' his first IQ test because he was only 4 and still mostly non-verbal. He just did not have the receptive language capability to understand the verbal instructions. Ironically, if he had been given the questions in writing, he would have done well. He also failed the mazes section even though he was brilliant at mazes even then (we had a maze-generating program on our computer) because he didn't have the pencil skills to complete a maze without occasionally touching a line. Frankly, I think it should have been scored with his clear INTENTION to draw the line that solved the maze correctly - it was obviously NOT an error due to a mistake on where the line was supposed to go. You could see the pencil line immediately come back onto the correct path. We know that his problems with handwriting are a muscular thing - how can that be included in an IQ assessment? Bizarre! With taking the maths test again - I would reconsider, at least talk to the teacher. If he would give the same answers again, then there is no point. But if he can understand it's s second chance, he can put in more correct answers, then he might be more comfortable. But it IS bending a rule he is probably not comfortable about breaking - a rule on cheating, being unfair to the other kids - so it might not be good to force the issue. Perhaps a better option could be for the teacher to sit with him and go over his mistakes. If, on the basis of this, she decides to amend his mark (because he clearly understood something he didn't attempt) then fair enough. It's HER option then. But he might still object because it's not done for the other kids. Again, it comes back to - are we after marks, or after a good learning outcome? After having had years and years of this, I'm certain that a part of my brain is now permanently set on autism mode. I can switch into it at will and know how they are thinking and how they will react. It can be useful - but my friends find it infuriating! Marg [/QUOTE]
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