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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 230958" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I wouldn't be comfortable with meetings concerning my child's special needs, where I am not present. That said, they may have sound reasons for this which I would accept. However, a few things:</p><p></p><p>1) Can you ask for contingency plans for NOW to tide you over? and</p><p></p><p>2) Did you get to ask what happens if the meeting occurs and they get it so hugely wrong because you weren't there, that the whole process has to be restarted?</p><p></p><p>If they don't want the parent there because they only want trained educators, then this begs the question - if they can't cope with the 'randomness' of a non-educator in the mix, then how do they expect to cope with a difficult child? The parent is the repository of some very valuable informartion, even if all you are there for is to confirm how the child is likely to react in a given scenario, you have a purpose.</p><p></p><p>The biggest problem I can see to having a parent there - it can slow down the meeting, because some parents could see the meeting as an opportunity to vent on how difficult life is with a difficult child and try to turn it into a campaign platform for better understanding for that particular disability (I've met parents like this). Other parents sit there like stunned mullets, not knowing what to dso or say and need everything explained over and over - this again takes valuable time.</p><p></p><p>Taking it all together though, especially if there is someone at the meeting skilled in keeping it in order and cutting through the crud, then a parent trying to grandstand would be brought to heel and a parent needing things explained would benefit from the use of plain language throughout (or a few quiet words on the side, especially after the meeting).</p><p></p><p>It can be done. That's how it works for us Down Under.</p><p></p><p>YOu said, "What happens if they decide "X" is needed and parent says it's not so parent refuses it?"</p><p></p><p>Good question. If te parent is present, then either the meeting can explain the reasoning well enough so the parent will agree, or the parent will explain at the meeting, before the decision is locked in, why it won't work.</p><p></p><p>The important thing in all these meetings is to keep things working towards a practical solution, where an action plan is put in place. You need a good moderator to keep things moving to a practical level, but the staff should be skilled in this or they shouldn't be doing this job.</p><p></p><p>klmno, I also am ambivalent about Ms H. I don't think she's another Warrior Mum though, I think she's got a relative who may be. She was working professionally, but with maybe an added level of compassion. Often it's why educators go further into some Special Education areas professionally, because they have a bit more personal experience and can bring this to bear to help others. Howerver, keep in mind she is SD and not YOUR advocate. She may turn out to be an angel, but her job will always depend on ther goodwill of SD. If she has to make a choice, I would expect her to eventually choose SD.</p><p></p><p>My 2c worth.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 230958, member: 1991"] I wouldn't be comfortable with meetings concerning my child's special needs, where I am not present. That said, they may have sound reasons for this which I would accept. However, a few things: 1) Can you ask for contingency plans for NOW to tide you over? and 2) Did you get to ask what happens if the meeting occurs and they get it so hugely wrong because you weren't there, that the whole process has to be restarted? If they don't want the parent there because they only want trained educators, then this begs the question - if they can't cope with the 'randomness' of a non-educator in the mix, then how do they expect to cope with a difficult child? The parent is the repository of some very valuable informartion, even if all you are there for is to confirm how the child is likely to react in a given scenario, you have a purpose. The biggest problem I can see to having a parent there - it can slow down the meeting, because some parents could see the meeting as an opportunity to vent on how difficult life is with a difficult child and try to turn it into a campaign platform for better understanding for that particular disability (I've met parents like this). Other parents sit there like stunned mullets, not knowing what to dso or say and need everything explained over and over - this again takes valuable time. Taking it all together though, especially if there is someone at the meeting skilled in keeping it in order and cutting through the crud, then a parent trying to grandstand would be brought to heel and a parent needing things explained would benefit from the use of plain language throughout (or a few quiet words on the side, especially after the meeting). It can be done. That's how it works for us Down Under. YOu said, "What happens if they decide "X" is needed and parent says it's not so parent refuses it?" Good question. If te parent is present, then either the meeting can explain the reasoning well enough so the parent will agree, or the parent will explain at the meeting, before the decision is locked in, why it won't work. The important thing in all these meetings is to keep things working towards a practical solution, where an action plan is put in place. You need a good moderator to keep things moving to a practical level, but the staff should be skilled in this or they shouldn't be doing this job. klmno, I also am ambivalent about Ms H. I don't think she's another Warrior Mum though, I think she's got a relative who may be. She was working professionally, but with maybe an added level of compassion. Often it's why educators go further into some Special Education areas professionally, because they have a bit more personal experience and can bring this to bear to help others. Howerver, keep in mind she is SD and not YOUR advocate. She may turn out to be an angel, but her job will always depend on ther goodwill of SD. If she has to make a choice, I would expect her to eventually choose SD. My 2c worth. Marg [/QUOTE]
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