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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753225" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>And it breaks down the cognitive barriers we have in place, that help us say no to more, and worse.</p><p>Usually in moderation, is not moderation. I think many of us tend to addictive behavior. </p><p></p><p>I recognize it's hard to say no to "moderate" drinking if we drink.</p><p></p><p>I am food sensitive. If I have artisan bread (with butter) or pie or cookies in the house, I cannot stop at one. My nutritionist says I can, that I have it within me to stop. I wonder if that's the case. But why would I have a box of Costco chocolate chip cookies here, when the risk is I would eat at least 7. They are not even that good. But something in me is triggered. </p><p></p><p>Not everybody is like this. M can eat one anything. </p><p></p><p>My point here is that two different people with alcohol are two different animals. </p><p></p><p>I don't think as parents we need to be fair and equitable. I think we need to be parents. If your son has trouble moderating his intake of substances, that's a reality. If you don't that's another reality, far different reality. The rules don't have to be the same. </p><p></p><p>Why look for problems? There is an elephant in the room. I agree with Wise. I think it is unwise to hold one's breath to wait to see if problems emerge. I think it makes better sense to put into place mechanisms, support, contingencies to anticipate what might come. </p><p></p><p>You guys have been doing so great. All 3 of you. I am wondering if it's time to re-assess the situation and see what else can be put into place to support your son. I think he handled this turning point really, really well. He went back to the drawing board and came up with a powerful new goal. That's maturity and strength. I thing he has the strength and maturity to look at himself and to put into place a tighter recovery plan and to do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753225, member: 18958"] And it breaks down the cognitive barriers we have in place, that help us say no to more, and worse. Usually in moderation, is not moderation. I think many of us tend to addictive behavior. I recognize it's hard to say no to "moderate" drinking if we drink. I am food sensitive. If I have artisan bread (with butter) or pie or cookies in the house, I cannot stop at one. My nutritionist says I can, that I have it within me to stop. I wonder if that's the case. But why would I have a box of Costco chocolate chip cookies here, when the risk is I would eat at least 7. They are not even that good. But something in me is triggered. Not everybody is like this. M can eat one anything. My point here is that two different people with alcohol are two different animals. I don't think as parents we need to be fair and equitable. I think we need to be parents. If your son has trouble moderating his intake of substances, that's a reality. If you don't that's another reality, far different reality. The rules don't have to be the same. Why look for problems? There is an elephant in the room. I agree with Wise. I think it is unwise to hold one's breath to wait to see if problems emerge. I think it makes better sense to put into place mechanisms, support, contingencies to anticipate what might come. You guys have been doing so great. All 3 of you. I am wondering if it's time to re-assess the situation and see what else can be put into place to support your son. I think he handled this turning point really, really well. He went back to the drawing board and came up with a powerful new goal. That's maturity and strength. I thing he has the strength and maturity to look at himself and to put into place a tighter recovery plan and to do it. [/QUOTE]
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