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Substance Abuse
Gradually stopping enabling
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 727239" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>It's a process for all of us.</p><p></p><p>We have to learn a new way to parent and who do we learn that from? I felt so very alone for so long. We felt trapped in our own home. I knew my son was "sick" because to me that is what addiction is. Part of the illness is them thinking they are doing FINE and that they don't need help. That's the worst part of all.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I have supported each other but at many times our son came between us. It was just maddening the way we were living. I did not want to go home after work anymore. It turned our happy home into an unhappy home. I know I will never live like that again. It's not good for my health and I get PTSD just from thinking about it.</p><p></p><p>Our son has some clarity now that he has been sober for four months. He would spend many months sober in the past when at home and we'd think "it" was over and it was a phase but then it kept reoccurring and we had to realize it was more than just a phase. </p><p></p><p>I have looked for answers for 7 years and I can tell you to stop looking now, there aren't any answers. I wasted so much time trying to figure it out. There is no figuring it out. As someone else said on here, I understand that I will never understand.</p><p></p><p>Don't be so hard on yourself and try to have some self-compassion. What you are dealing with is not easy and there is no quick fix.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 727239, member: 15032"] It's a process for all of us. We have to learn a new way to parent and who do we learn that from? I felt so very alone for so long. We felt trapped in our own home. I knew my son was "sick" because to me that is what addiction is. Part of the illness is them thinking they are doing FINE and that they don't need help. That's the worst part of all. My husband and I have supported each other but at many times our son came between us. It was just maddening the way we were living. I did not want to go home after work anymore. It turned our happy home into an unhappy home. I know I will never live like that again. It's not good for my health and I get PTSD just from thinking about it. Our son has some clarity now that he has been sober for four months. He would spend many months sober in the past when at home and we'd think "it" was over and it was a phase but then it kept reoccurring and we had to realize it was more than just a phase. I have looked for answers for 7 years and I can tell you to stop looking now, there aren't any answers. I wasted so much time trying to figure it out. There is no figuring it out. As someone else said on here, I understand that I will never understand. Don't be so hard on yourself and try to have some self-compassion. What you are dealing with is not easy and there is no quick fix. [/QUOTE]
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