Carri, I too know how you feel. I am much better now than I used to be when I would see people my son's age living a more "conventional" life, or listening to co-workers or friends "brag" about their adult children.
It is a grieving process for sure. I'm glad I allowed myself to work through those feelings and to let them go. It has allowed me to move on with my life.
I still have moments but they are less frequent and I traverse them much more quickly now.
I was thinking about my son a few days ago as he hasn't posted anything on FB for a couple of months. The thought that he could die and I would never know it always creeps into my mind, but again, I deal with that so much better now. I accept it for the reality that it is.
Yes, we the warrior parents all have that part of our heart that know a pain like no other.
((HUGS)) to you................
