I too can relate, Carri. I remember once sitting on the beach watching a father and his young son rough-house in the surf and bursting into tears at how wrong it all went, somehow, from when my husband and son had done that same rough-housing 15 years earlier. To me it is absolutely a grieving process for what we always assumed was just a given. All we can do is just somehow try, then try again the next time, to come to a place of no expectations. It's hard stuff.