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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752530" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Don't feel bad. There are plenty of families that don't take those trips. Many mothers do not connect with the husbands and SOs of their daughters. It's not uncommon.</p><p></p><p>Our happiest dreams don't always happen because they are just our hopes of future good times. They are our dreams, just like we hope our kids have great careers and happy families. We can't predict. I dreamed this and then Kay happened and Amy got divorced. So much for my dreams.</p><p></p><p>I know you don't like this man and you don't have to. I don't like Lee, Kay's husband. At all! It's frustrating to me sometimes that we can not and should not try to pick partners for our adult children. I wanted stability for Kay. She picked someone very unstable like herself. It makes sense. Why would a stable man want Kay's chaos? Regarding Lee, he usually ignores us. </p><p></p><p>We need not make it personal if we don't click with the stranger our child falls in love with. Not everyone will warm up to us no matter how nice we are. Often we put in a huge effort to be nice at work, at church, in the community and even with family and it is not always reciprocated. Why should our kid's partners be any different?</p><p></p><p> Difficult kids do not normally attract the best and brightest or nicest partners. My husband and I more or less shrug it off. To each other we say "That's Lee. What can we expect?"</p><p></p><p>I hope you stop taking your daughters boyfriend's behavior towards you to heart. He may be autistic or just shy or unfriendly. Who knows? It is nothing against you. It doesn't have anything to do with your daughter either. She can't control him and his personality. Obviously, just like Lee and Kay, your daughters SO brings something she needs and likes into her life. Don't even try to figure out what it is. We have up trying to figure out why Lee and Kay are together.</p><p></p><p>God bless you and maybe try to just tell yourself "it is what it is." My Dad always said that. I like it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752530, member: 23706"] Don't feel bad. There are plenty of families that don't take those trips. Many mothers do not connect with the husbands and SOs of their daughters. It's not uncommon. Our happiest dreams don't always happen because they are just our hopes of future good times. They are our dreams, just like we hope our kids have great careers and happy families. We can't predict. I dreamed this and then Kay happened and Amy got divorced. So much for my dreams. I know you don't like this man and you don't have to. I don't like Lee, Kay's husband. At all! It's frustrating to me sometimes that we can not and should not try to pick partners for our adult children. I wanted stability for Kay. She picked someone very unstable like herself. It makes sense. Why would a stable man want Kay's chaos? Regarding Lee, he usually ignores us. We need not make it personal if we don't click with the stranger our child falls in love with. Not everyone will warm up to us no matter how nice we are. Often we put in a huge effort to be nice at work, at church, in the community and even with family and it is not always reciprocated. Why should our kid's partners be any different? Difficult kids do not normally attract the best and brightest or nicest partners. My husband and I more or less shrug it off. To each other we say "That's Lee. What can we expect?" I hope you stop taking your daughters boyfriend's behavior towards you to heart. He may be autistic or just shy or unfriendly. Who knows? It is nothing against you. It doesn't have anything to do with your daughter either. She can't control him and his personality. Obviously, just like Lee and Kay, your daughters SO brings something she needs and likes into her life. Don't even try to figure out what it is. We have up trying to figure out why Lee and Kay are together. God bless you and maybe try to just tell yourself "it is what it is." My Dad always said that. I like it. [/QUOTE]
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