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Gut-wrenching!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 297871" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Cakewalk - </p><p> </p><p>I admire your ability to sit back and let life happed despite what is being thrown your way. Not an easy task. Especially when you love your child like you do. </p><p> </p><p>I've been to therapy a long time, and so has difficult child. One thing I can tell you is that kids get out of it what they want to get out of it a lot of the time. The counselor may have said "Well if you have it so good at your Aunts what makes you want to move back in with your parents?" as a way to make him open up to the counselor about his feelings of home and your SON took that in his 13 year old head and twisted it around to mean "Well you've got it good at your aunts why would you want to go home?" See? Perception. </p><p> </p><p>Then you have your sister who is PROBABLY not really 100% thrilled to have your son living with her kids but wouldn't DARE ever say anything less she loose even an infintessimile percent of her self-perceived martyr roll. I am sure conversations behind closed doors are very different than conversations in front of your sons face regarding his living there. I can tell you this first hand after having my son go live with his own Grandmother who BEGGED me in tears to allow my son to come live with her. </p><p> </p><p>I think my conversation with my son in the car, like Suz said would be the most valuable time at this point. And since everyone is SO willing to interject THEIR opinions on your son - why not suggest to this therapist that your SISTER, your son, and YOUR family all join in once a night for FAMILY therapy? I bet that would go over well? I mean if she's REALLY serious about his well being - couldn't she spare a night to see how things should progress in a therapeutic light? If she refuses what message does that send to the therapist? THat she's ALWAYS right? If she goes - then what would that let the therapist KNOW? If you're there - that would give YOU a chance to defend yourself instead of this he said she said business. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At 13 you think he's shut the door completely to you and your family. At 18 my son closes the door on us three times a day forever. I was so sure when we put him out at 16 that we'd never see him again that I was in near shock the first time I got a call from him. But I do see you doing a lot of things very right. I think the get together at the restaurant was very good, and easy child telling him how he felt was great. difficult child needs to know that there are people in this world he can't walk on. Even if it is his brother. </p><p> </p><p>You're a great warrior Mom CW.....Keep up the good work! </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 297871, member: 4964"] Cakewalk - I admire your ability to sit back and let life happed despite what is being thrown your way. Not an easy task. Especially when you love your child like you do. I've been to therapy a long time, and so has difficult child. One thing I can tell you is that kids get out of it what they want to get out of it a lot of the time. The counselor may have said "Well if you have it so good at your Aunts what makes you want to move back in with your parents?" as a way to make him open up to the counselor about his feelings of home and your SON took that in his 13 year old head and twisted it around to mean "Well you've got it good at your aunts why would you want to go home?" See? Perception. Then you have your sister who is PROBABLY not really 100% thrilled to have your son living with her kids but wouldn't DARE ever say anything less she loose even an infintessimile percent of her self-perceived martyr roll. I am sure conversations behind closed doors are very different than conversations in front of your sons face regarding his living there. I can tell you this first hand after having my son go live with his own Grandmother who BEGGED me in tears to allow my son to come live with her. I think my conversation with my son in the car, like Suz said would be the most valuable time at this point. And since everyone is SO willing to interject THEIR opinions on your son - why not suggest to this therapist that your SISTER, your son, and YOUR family all join in once a night for FAMILY therapy? I bet that would go over well? I mean if she's REALLY serious about his well being - couldn't she spare a night to see how things should progress in a therapeutic light? If she refuses what message does that send to the therapist? THat she's ALWAYS right? If she goes - then what would that let the therapist KNOW? If you're there - that would give YOU a chance to defend yourself instead of this he said she said business. At 13 you think he's shut the door completely to you and your family. At 18 my son closes the door on us three times a day forever. I was so sure when we put him out at 16 that we'd never see him again that I was in near shock the first time I got a call from him. But I do see you doing a lot of things very right. I think the get together at the restaurant was very good, and easy child telling him how he felt was great. difficult child needs to know that there are people in this world he can't walk on. Even if it is his brother. You're a great warrior Mom CW.....Keep up the good work! Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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