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General Parenting
Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 9167"><p>in my opinion genetics are HUGE. I know a girl with Borderline (BPD) - pretty severe case, too - with no history of childhood abuse or anything even remotely close. It's really how we're wired. Two people can witness the same incident and come away with two completely different experiences. One could be compeletely traumatized and the other barely phased. It really does play into what we are predisposed to. Yes, environment can and does play a factor, but I have always believed that biology is the biggest factor at play.</p><p></p><p>As parents, we beat ourselves up over everything anyway - even those with only easy child's. As parents of difficult child's we tend to do so even more. Yes, you have struggled with your issues for a long time. But it is obvious that you made a concious effort - and a successful one at that - to be a good parent. That is all any of us can really do.</p><p></p><p>It's interesting - the timing of this. I see difficult child's therapist individually from time to time and she was getting some history on me. My mother was far from perfect. My brother and I were last on her list of priorities. My therapist was talking about that and I told her that I just don't buy into the psychology of blaming the parents for everything (cases of abuse I believe are different - but I hope you get what I'm saying). At some point we become adults and responsible for our own actions, decisions, and happiness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 9167"] in my opinion genetics are HUGE. I know a girl with Borderline (BPD) - pretty severe case, too - with no history of childhood abuse or anything even remotely close. It's really how we're wired. Two people can witness the same incident and come away with two completely different experiences. One could be compeletely traumatized and the other barely phased. It really does play into what we are predisposed to. Yes, environment can and does play a factor, but I have always believed that biology is the biggest factor at play. As parents, we beat ourselves up over everything anyway - even those with only easy child's. As parents of difficult child's we tend to do so even more. Yes, you have struggled with your issues for a long time. But it is obvious that you made a concious effort - and a successful one at that - to be a good parent. That is all any of us can really do. It's interesting - the timing of this. I see difficult child's therapist individually from time to time and she was getting some history on me. My mother was far from perfect. My brother and I were last on her list of priorities. My therapist was talking about that and I told her that I just don't buy into the psychology of blaming the parents for everything (cases of abuse I believe are different - but I hope you get what I'm saying). At some point we become adults and responsible for our own actions, decisions, and happiness. [/QUOTE]
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Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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