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Had it with the way Hubby treats difficult child!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 107670" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Soooo been there!</p><p></p><p>I really feel (no insult to the men on here - you wouldn't be on here if you were part of this particular catagory!) that men have a hard time accepting what's going on with our difficult child's.</p><p></p><p>Remember: most of us grew up in the era in which "spare the rod, spoil the child" was the absolute when it came to raising your children. Unfortunately, in between our upbringing and our difficult child's existance, everyone was supposed to raise their kids as if they were going to be their friends.</p><p></p><p>My husband didn't understand either. He thought that I was being driven to make excuses for our kids. When difficult child 1 went into a day treatment school, we were required to attend family therapy or difficult child 1 couldn't attend the program. It made me wild that he could talk out of his butt at these sessions. He spoke as if he knew and understood exactly what was going on with our kids (paraphrasing everything that I told HIM) and was the "involved dad".</p><p></p><p>Then, the summer before last, he went into a tailspin depression. Through the course of the summer, he withdrew more and more from everyone. Finally 2 days before our anniversary, we exploded. What an arguement. I took the kids across the street to my dad's and we had it out. It came down to a change or move out. I'd had enough.</p><p></p><p>Not for nothing, I kind of blame myself for allowing him to "armchair quarterback" because I didn't have the energy to constantly explain my actions to him. </p><p></p><p>It's been a slow road, but we're moving on. He's taken a much more active role with the kids, he still slips up from time to time, but I have to admit, I was ready for him to leave. Once you've reached that point it's all in his hands. If he can't be a help and is actually a hindrence, then tell your story walking, pal, cause I've got kids to raise.</p><p></p><p>This was the only way that we could survive. He didn't read the books, articles, websites, notes from teachers, go to therapy, anything. And I had hit my limit. I basically told him that: you are doing more damage being an absentee father that LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE. There's nothing more brutal to a kid than to be constantly reminded that they aren't important. </p><p></p><p>Thankfully, we came out ok. But it's work, boy is it work!!</p><p></p><p>I so sympathize with you kiddo!</p><p></p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 107670, member: 3814"] Soooo been there! I really feel (no insult to the men on here - you wouldn't be on here if you were part of this particular catagory!) that men have a hard time accepting what's going on with our difficult child's. Remember: most of us grew up in the era in which "spare the rod, spoil the child" was the absolute when it came to raising your children. Unfortunately, in between our upbringing and our difficult child's existance, everyone was supposed to raise their kids as if they were going to be their friends. My husband didn't understand either. He thought that I was being driven to make excuses for our kids. When difficult child 1 went into a day treatment school, we were required to attend family therapy or difficult child 1 couldn't attend the program. It made me wild that he could talk out of his butt at these sessions. He spoke as if he knew and understood exactly what was going on with our kids (paraphrasing everything that I told HIM) and was the "involved dad". Then, the summer before last, he went into a tailspin depression. Through the course of the summer, he withdrew more and more from everyone. Finally 2 days before our anniversary, we exploded. What an arguement. I took the kids across the street to my dad's and we had it out. It came down to a change or move out. I'd had enough. Not for nothing, I kind of blame myself for allowing him to "armchair quarterback" because I didn't have the energy to constantly explain my actions to him. It's been a slow road, but we're moving on. He's taken a much more active role with the kids, he still slips up from time to time, but I have to admit, I was ready for him to leave. Once you've reached that point it's all in his hands. If he can't be a help and is actually a hindrence, then tell your story walking, pal, cause I've got kids to raise. This was the only way that we could survive. He didn't read the books, articles, websites, notes from teachers, go to therapy, anything. And I had hit my limit. I basically told him that: you are doing more damage being an absentee father that LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE. There's nothing more brutal to a kid than to be constantly reminded that they aren't important. Thankfully, we came out ok. But it's work, boy is it work!! I so sympathize with you kiddo! Beth [/QUOTE]
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Had it with the way Hubby treats difficult child!!!!!!!
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