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General Parenting
Had it with the way Hubby treats difficult child!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 108031" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>If you could tell husband "I need your help on this (something very small with-difficult child); this is what I plan to do," he may buy into it. Don't make it the whole big picture, make it a bitesize piece.</p><p>For ex., you mentioned that difficult child makes noises in the bathtub ... how about redirecting the noises, like if he's got boats, make motorboat noises. Then have husband stand there and listen to appropriate noises and tell him you taught difficult child that. Make sure husband knows you can teach difficult child things and redirect the behavior instead of just telling him to shut up. Quite frankly, shut up only works briefly and then it wears off, much like spankings, and after that only causes resentment.</p><p>So then you can tell difficult child, "Remember how we learned to make motorboat noises?" or whatever is appropriate at the time, and make sure husband is listening. </p><p>I agree that counseling by yourself is a great idea. You can always tell husband that you're getting tools to work with and he's welcome to go. Give him a choice of going with-you and your coming home and giving him the Reader's Digest condensed version. He will take the RD version, LOL! But those are his only two choices. He will have to hear about the counseling no matter what.</p><p>I have been going to counseling for several mo's now and most of it was just for me, but a lot was because of our marriage. Most men don't "get it" and don't want to go. But I've gotten myDH to go twice now and it does help. If nothing else, it's something you two can do alone together, with-o difficult child, and then you can get a cup of coffee afterward. You two need time alone to communicate and relax.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 108031, member: 3419"] If you could tell husband "I need your help on this (something very small with-difficult child); this is what I plan to do," he may buy into it. Don't make it the whole big picture, make it a bitesize piece. For ex., you mentioned that difficult child makes noises in the bathtub ... how about redirecting the noises, like if he's got boats, make motorboat noises. Then have husband stand there and listen to appropriate noises and tell him you taught difficult child that. Make sure husband knows you can teach difficult child things and redirect the behavior instead of just telling him to shut up. Quite frankly, shut up only works briefly and then it wears off, much like spankings, and after that only causes resentment. So then you can tell difficult child, "Remember how we learned to make motorboat noises?" or whatever is appropriate at the time, and make sure husband is listening. I agree that counseling by yourself is a great idea. You can always tell husband that you're getting tools to work with and he's welcome to go. Give him a choice of going with-you and your coming home and giving him the Reader's Digest condensed version. He will take the RD version, LOL! But those are his only two choices. He will have to hear about the counseling no matter what. I have been going to counseling for several mo's now and most of it was just for me, but a lot was because of our marriage. Most men don't "get it" and don't want to go. But I've gotten myDH to go twice now and it does help. If nothing else, it's something you two can do alone together, with-o difficult child, and then you can get a cup of coffee afterward. You two need time alone to communicate and relax. [/QUOTE]
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Had it with the way Hubby treats difficult child!!!!!!!
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