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Happy Birthday to my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 583629" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Happy Birthday, Tyler!!</p><p></p><p>It is wonderful to hear how much he has grown and changed and matured. For a long time it seemed like if he used the amazing stubborn determination and creativity that were part of his gfgness for positive, he would make amazing strides and become a wonderful man. I hope he has some inkling of how proud we all are of him.</p><p></p><p>The grief could easily have dragged him down, but so far it hasn't. I don't know if he would be open to grief counseling, but it helped me a great deal. When he is ready, it is likely to be something that could be a good thing. Often the funeral homes know of or run grief therapy support groups and universities with psychology programs on the graduate level are another place to find them. Many are free, esp ones at funeral homes (at least here and in Cincy they were). </p><p></p><p>As for not knowing what he wants to be when he grows up, it might help him to know that he can be more than one thing. He has sixty to eighty years left and it is possible to have more than one career. I found it almost paralyzing to choose a career when I went to college. 14 majors in 3 yrs reflects that, and yes, I did have that many! When I realized I could study for 4-8 yrs, work at that career for 20 yrs, and go back and do it all again in another field at least once? It was liberating. I wasn't 'stuck' by a decision I made in my late teens/early 20's(well, except for the having kids part. that does stick with you if you are lucky.) for the rest of my life. </p><p></p><p>Just something for him to think about. He has SO MUCH to offer the world, and if he applies the determination, perseverance and creativity to a career that he applied to accomplishing all the difficult child stuff and flouting the rules during the worst years, he will do amazing things no matter what he chooses to do. WIth that level of stubborn creativity, he could build an escalator to the moon if he wanted to!</p><p></p><p>Happy Birthday to YOU too! Sometime during my teens my dad started giving my mother a gift for our birthdays. He felt it wasn't just a celebration for us, it was for her too. After all, she did all the hard work. You are an awesome mom!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 583629, member: 1233"] Happy Birthday, Tyler!! It is wonderful to hear how much he has grown and changed and matured. For a long time it seemed like if he used the amazing stubborn determination and creativity that were part of his gfgness for positive, he would make amazing strides and become a wonderful man. I hope he has some inkling of how proud we all are of him. The grief could easily have dragged him down, but so far it hasn't. I don't know if he would be open to grief counseling, but it helped me a great deal. When he is ready, it is likely to be something that could be a good thing. Often the funeral homes know of or run grief therapy support groups and universities with psychology programs on the graduate level are another place to find them. Many are free, esp ones at funeral homes (at least here and in Cincy they were). As for not knowing what he wants to be when he grows up, it might help him to know that he can be more than one thing. He has sixty to eighty years left and it is possible to have more than one career. I found it almost paralyzing to choose a career when I went to college. 14 majors in 3 yrs reflects that, and yes, I did have that many! When I realized I could study for 4-8 yrs, work at that career for 20 yrs, and go back and do it all again in another field at least once? It was liberating. I wasn't 'stuck' by a decision I made in my late teens/early 20's(well, except for the having kids part. that does stick with you if you are lucky.) for the rest of my life. Just something for him to think about. He has SO MUCH to offer the world, and if he applies the determination, perseverance and creativity to a career that he applied to accomplishing all the difficult child stuff and flouting the rules during the worst years, he will do amazing things no matter what he chooses to do. WIth that level of stubborn creativity, he could build an escalator to the moon if he wanted to! Happy Birthday to YOU too! Sometime during my teens my dad started giving my mother a gift for our birthdays. He felt it wasn't just a celebration for us, it was for her too. After all, she did all the hard work. You are an awesome mom! [/QUOTE]
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