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Substance Abuse
:( 'Happy Christmas'
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 725815" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Tmt, blessings to you, too. Hubs and I nearly made it to 36 years. He was looking forward to early retirement, time to relax after working so so hard to make a better life for his children. I do think watching our two struggle and end up as they did, took so much wind out of his sails. He was tired. Me too. Tired of trying to put out so many fires, only to have another and another spark again.</p><p>I am glad you and your hubs are taking time for yourselves to make memories. It is so very important for your relationship. Switching focus to strengthen your bond and have the best rest of your lives together. Our d cs will continue to choose as they do. They are on their journey.</p><p>It is not selfish to reach for your potential, peace and joy in your golden years.</p><p>Los, you don’t realize how your posting and sharing is <em>already giving back.</em></p><p>When I read of people’s challenges with d cs, it is a reminder to me of what I have been through and at times, still go through. I see myself in so many posts. When I reply, I am just as much writing to myself. It is so easy to slip and get back on that hellish roller coaster ride. Yes, one person can impact the lives of others, in my case with my two, it has been a long, long road. I am tired of suffering the consequences of their choices, as if they were my own.</p><p>Oh I am so glad your husband came back and you are okay. Have a wonderful trip. Time away in a relaxing environment is good for your soul.</p><p> On doing things different. It is hard to change all at once. Take little steps towards finding yourself again. We get so caught up in outcomes for our d cs, we lose our own identity and grasp on life.</p><p>Well, that’s something isn’t it? Look at it this way, your son is allowing you to step <em>way back</em> by blocking you. After all the effort you have put out, helping him, washing clothes, making sure he eats, paying his rent, it is that simple for him to just cut off communication. Pretty ungrateful if you ask me.</p><p></p><p>Seriously is right. Take a cue from this. Call him at his game and “go away”, <em>stop fretting over his choices.</em> He will not learn if you are always there to pick up the pieces.</p><p>My daughters will disappear for months and just show up without a care. Sometimes it has been after terrible altercations that left me broken inside. Nary an apology. It is as if it never happened.</p><p>I am working hard at not letting their choices take my peace and joy away from me. Not allowing what their outcome may be, direct how I view what life I have left in me.</p><p>In their drug hazed, party all you can world, they only think of where the next high is.</p><p>I have to look at that reality long and hard. I can’t tell you how many times they lounged around my home, sleeping all day, while hubs and I worked. Unacceptable.</p><p> Walk barefoot in the sand and create new beginnings. It is wonderful that you are going on an adventure! </p><p>What a lovely way to start the New Year!</p><p>Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 725815, member: 19522"] Hi Tmt, blessings to you, too. Hubs and I nearly made it to 36 years. He was looking forward to early retirement, time to relax after working so so hard to make a better life for his children. I do think watching our two struggle and end up as they did, took so much wind out of his sails. He was tired. Me too. Tired of trying to put out so many fires, only to have another and another spark again. I am glad you and your hubs are taking time for yourselves to make memories. It is so very important for your relationship. Switching focus to strengthen your bond and have the best rest of your lives together. Our d cs will continue to choose as they do. They are on their journey. It is not selfish to reach for your potential, peace and joy in your golden years. Los, you don’t realize how your posting and sharing is [I]already giving back.[/I] When I read of people’s challenges with d cs, it is a reminder to me of what I have been through and at times, still go through. I see myself in so many posts. When I reply, I am just as much writing to myself. It is so easy to slip and get back on that hellish roller coaster ride. Yes, one person can impact the lives of others, in my case with my two, it has been a long, long road. I am tired of suffering the consequences of their choices, as if they were my own. Oh I am so glad your husband came back and you are okay. Have a wonderful trip. Time away in a relaxing environment is good for your soul. On doing things different. It is hard to change all at once. Take little steps towards finding yourself again. We get so caught up in outcomes for our d cs, we lose our own identity and grasp on life. Well, that’s something isn’t it? Look at it this way, your son is allowing you to step [I]way back[/I] by blocking you. After all the effort you have put out, helping him, washing clothes, making sure he eats, paying his rent, it is that simple for him to just cut off communication. Pretty ungrateful if you ask me. Seriously is right. Take a cue from this. Call him at his game and “go away”, [I]stop fretting over his choices.[/I] He will not learn if you are always there to pick up the pieces. My daughters will disappear for months and just show up without a care. Sometimes it has been after terrible altercations that left me broken inside. Nary an apology. It is as if it never happened. I am working hard at not letting their choices take my peace and joy away from me. Not allowing what their outcome may be, direct how I view what life I have left in me. In their drug hazed, party all you can world, they only think of where the next high is. I have to look at that reality long and hard. I can’t tell you how many times they lounged around my home, sleeping all day, while hubs and I worked. Unacceptable. Walk barefoot in the sand and create new beginnings. It is wonderful that you are going on an adventure! What a lovely way to start the New Year! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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