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"Happy (??) Holidays".
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 96894" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>GG, thank you for posting this. These thoughts have been in the back of my mind and I haven't given myself time to think about them really and truly.</p><p></p><p>Each year, I host a family Christmas get together. Usually my brother and his family come up from NY and my local (loco) sister and her family come over. We have a nice buffet dinner, share stories and toast the holidays, share some small gifts - kids only - and it's a nice time. However, two years ago, following a fallout between my loco sister and me, I called it off that year. A few months later, I sent the gifts over for my neices and nephew to my loco sisters' house and we never received anything back until Summer, and those were obviously re-gifted items. Not that it's about the gifts, but it was hurtful to me because despite the fallour we had, I still put some thought into nice gifts for her kids (who, by the way, are adult children). Last year, we hosted it as we've done in the past, but mostly because my mom was with us for the first time in 25 years! Though it was much smaller an affair, it was very pleasant as there were so many people in my house and it created a diversion for me having to interact with my loco sister too much. It was agreed that no gifts would be exchanged so that also lessened the pressure for everyone.</p><p></p><p>Witz, I extracted from your post some good ideas. I'm closer with my friends than I am with my only nearby family (loc sister) so I am thinking that I will put together a list of friends and see if maybe we will host a holiday party with our friends instead this year. It may prove difficult as two of our friends are going through a divorce, but even if it's small, it will at least be filled with laughter, fun and much love instead of walking on eggshells all night, hoping that nothing sets off loco sister. </p><p></p><p>on the other hand, I am feeling like something is wrong with me for not wanting to bother with a family holiday hosting...I always feel like my daughters get gypped when we don't do SOMETHING, but I don't feel I have it in me. When my sister walks through the door, you can see that she is simply fulfilling some obligation, and then I feel "why did I bother?", Know what I mean?? It's a sense of mourning to not have a rowdy, loud group of people in the house Christmas. This year, my girls are with their dad in NY for Christmas so the day will likely be quiet anyway. H and I don't even like to open gifts without the kids home. And traditionally, we spend the afternoon at the movies anyway, so it will be just another day for us. My birthday is Dec 27th so my girls will come home that day and we'll celebrate then.</p><p></p><p>Thank you again gg, for such a thought provoking post. It is helping me overcome the guilt I feel for not wanting to spend the holiday with my sister.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 96894, member: 2211"] GG, thank you for posting this. These thoughts have been in the back of my mind and I haven't given myself time to think about them really and truly. Each year, I host a family Christmas get together. Usually my brother and his family come up from NY and my local (loco) sister and her family come over. We have a nice buffet dinner, share stories and toast the holidays, share some small gifts - kids only - and it's a nice time. However, two years ago, following a fallout between my loco sister and me, I called it off that year. A few months later, I sent the gifts over for my neices and nephew to my loco sisters' house and we never received anything back until Summer, and those were obviously re-gifted items. Not that it's about the gifts, but it was hurtful to me because despite the fallour we had, I still put some thought into nice gifts for her kids (who, by the way, are adult children). Last year, we hosted it as we've done in the past, but mostly because my mom was with us for the first time in 25 years! Though it was much smaller an affair, it was very pleasant as there were so many people in my house and it created a diversion for me having to interact with my loco sister too much. It was agreed that no gifts would be exchanged so that also lessened the pressure for everyone. Witz, I extracted from your post some good ideas. I'm closer with my friends than I am with my only nearby family (loc sister) so I am thinking that I will put together a list of friends and see if maybe we will host a holiday party with our friends instead this year. It may prove difficult as two of our friends are going through a divorce, but even if it's small, it will at least be filled with laughter, fun and much love instead of walking on eggshells all night, hoping that nothing sets off loco sister. on the other hand, I am feeling like something is wrong with me for not wanting to bother with a family holiday hosting...I always feel like my daughters get gypped when we don't do SOMETHING, but I don't feel I have it in me. When my sister walks through the door, you can see that she is simply fulfilling some obligation, and then I feel "why did I bother?", Know what I mean?? It's a sense of mourning to not have a rowdy, loud group of people in the house Christmas. This year, my girls are with their dad in NY for Christmas so the day will likely be quiet anyway. H and I don't even like to open gifts without the kids home. And traditionally, we spend the afternoon at the movies anyway, so it will be just another day for us. My birthday is Dec 27th so my girls will come home that day and we'll celebrate then. Thank you again gg, for such a thought provoking post. It is helping me overcome the guilt I feel for not wanting to spend the holiday with my sister. [/QUOTE]
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