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<blockquote data-quote="mamabeardefendinghercubs" data-source="post: 217026" data-attributes="member: 6411"><p>HI every one and thank you for such a warm welcome to this forum!!! </p><p> </p><p>well there are many questions on my story so I guess here it goes...</p><p>it is a bit hard to explain it all its long and complicated... i am only going to start at where my children where born for now otherwse it will be like three pages long in short form lol</p><p> </p><p>when I was 17 years old I met and fell in love with a man that had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) i had no clue to what it ment and i thought we were untouchable he seemed normal he seemed loving and kind and well I was looking for love ( in all the wroong places) well we had twoo children together and all the while he was addicted to hard drugs.. please believe me when i say i had no idea I never even knew what they looked like...i knew he smoked pot but i didnt htink that was a big deal as long as he kept it away from me and the kids then he started to go beserk beating me up trying to strangle me he made sure that when he did abuse me my children where never around and he never hurt them so I thought i could help him work through it I thought it was his past ect and he was the father i wanted to help him and well social services got involved when my oldest son was a few months old an inevitable thing of course and for the best he could not be around my son at all so we continued to meet when i had a sitter he had promised to get help and i was soon pregnant again ...yes i know how dumb could i be and he eventually gave up getting help and left me for a 15 year old when i was pregnatn with our 2 child .. welll i got a phone call a month or two later saying he was in treatment for hard drug usethat came as a blow to me how could i have not known ??? how could i have been so naive and stupid well hindsight was a bittersweet thing at that point anyways my son my oldest was difficult as a baby he was colicy and I didnt buy that i was in emerge every night with him screaming and screaming eventurlly they realised he had a hernia and they fixed it but as he grew he had huge temper tantrums as a 6month old after his operation he began to bang his head on anything he could i had to put a helmet on his head to keep him safe he would have rages and screaming tantrums where it looked like he was possessed so here i was alone with this baby and he was not what i expected i was devistated i sought heolp every where i could the child development center dr.'s over and over again they said nothing was wrong and I continued to seek help fighting for my son.... it wasnt until after my 2 son was born that my family dr finally sent me to a pediatrician he was born with health issues so i was scrambling to get him help aswell... I finally took my youngest to the childrens hospitle where he saw an ear nose and throat specialist who was a miricle worker and realised that my son was born deaf his adnoids where to large and that he had bowel issues and acid reflux they had to put him on a special formula called nutramagen they operated on his ears and removed his adnoids he took his first steps when he woke upp from surgery then I raced back home to take my oldest to the pediatrician he was only a fill in but he heard my concern and he said i believe it is adhd and he put my son on dexadrine I at this time had already met and was living with my future husband ...... I was relieved somebody had heard me it wasnt a diagnosis but it was help at lasst and that day I saw my oldest sit and colour for the first time for more than 5 minutes it was 1 whole hour to be exact and my mom and i thought it was a miricle to be sure everyone did.. and it worked okay for a few months and then as time went on he became more and more agressive biting hitting even trying to stab me with a knife when he was 2I went to the dr again again and again until finally a different pediatrician put him on risperadone and upped the dexadrine.... he also sent me for parenting course call triple p parenting and my son to a therapist he said that my son had had a sensory disorder aswell as Learning Disability (LD)'s my son had no developmental difficulties he did every thing far sooner than most children he walked and talked at an accelerated rate infact he was doing complicated things like he learned how to play chess at the age of 2 no word of a lie so anyways the medications helped for a while but then they stopeed working and where causing him dmaage to organs it was a catch 22 so i had a choice to make and I made one I took him off medications and i stopped giving him processed foods and started taking courses to learn how to difuse the rages before it started and exct and now he is doing fairley well for what he has but.... it is not perfect in anyway.. in school he has a tendeancy to tell lies and manipulation is his game there telling the teachers i dont pack him a lunch( he throws it out) telling them i hit him ( i dont) he tries to blackmail me if i dont let him on the cp saying he will tell people i beat him if I dont let him on.. of course i dont becasue it is a trigger issue... he tells the school i take him to oceans and let him swim in shark infested waters ect ect ect now this may sound like no bigie but he has a way of inventing all of this to sound real they belive him even after sicial workers and thereapists tell them its not true and i am a good motehr ect ect... well anwyas i get harrassed byt hte school regualrily and I find that they have create a serious grounds for issues later on they gave my son too much power and he needs the exact opposite of that... I stand my ground and stay strong for my childrens sake I wont let them think i can be manipulated but its all very stressful alot of my healthissues are triggered by stress.... my oldest son doesnt have violent rages at shcool he saves those for at home he does other things instead everyone there thinks he is perfect ect he has difficulties with noise and lights ... I have been to numerous therapists had several phscological evaluations and have been found to be doing very well under All the circumstances of my past... ALL in all I belive that my children are doing well and pushing forward.... I find that video games, processed food, lack of sleep, stress and little or no warning of a change in routine are triggers aswell as sounds are a huge distraction in school and can be a source of fustration we do our best to alleviate theses issues....I have read the explosive child and anyother books i can get my hands on and i will continue to do so.. what I am here for more than anything is a sense of community a place that other parents know what its like.. my life is not out of control and i am not for lack of information its more just acceptance... we have our good days and not so good days and its helpful to know that their are others going through it... anyways i get through each day seeing where we have all come from to where we are now and I see the improvment and it makes me burst with hope and pride</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mamabeardefendinghercubs, post: 217026, member: 6411"] HI every one and thank you for such a warm welcome to this forum!!! well there are many questions on my story so I guess here it goes... it is a bit hard to explain it all its long and complicated... i am only going to start at where my children where born for now otherwse it will be like three pages long in short form lol when I was 17 years old I met and fell in love with a man that had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) i had no clue to what it ment and i thought we were untouchable he seemed normal he seemed loving and kind and well I was looking for love ( in all the wroong places) well we had twoo children together and all the while he was addicted to hard drugs.. please believe me when i say i had no idea I never even knew what they looked like...i knew he smoked pot but i didnt htink that was a big deal as long as he kept it away from me and the kids then he started to go beserk beating me up trying to strangle me he made sure that when he did abuse me my children where never around and he never hurt them so I thought i could help him work through it I thought it was his past ect and he was the father i wanted to help him and well social services got involved when my oldest son was a few months old an inevitable thing of course and for the best he could not be around my son at all so we continued to meet when i had a sitter he had promised to get help and i was soon pregnant again ...yes i know how dumb could i be and he eventually gave up getting help and left me for a 15 year old when i was pregnatn with our 2 child .. welll i got a phone call a month or two later saying he was in treatment for hard drug usethat came as a blow to me how could i have not known ??? how could i have been so naive and stupid well hindsight was a bittersweet thing at that point anyways my son my oldest was difficult as a baby he was colicy and I didnt buy that i was in emerge every night with him screaming and screaming eventurlly they realised he had a hernia and they fixed it but as he grew he had huge temper tantrums as a 6month old after his operation he began to bang his head on anything he could i had to put a helmet on his head to keep him safe he would have rages and screaming tantrums where it looked like he was possessed so here i was alone with this baby and he was not what i expected i was devistated i sought heolp every where i could the child development center dr.'s over and over again they said nothing was wrong and I continued to seek help fighting for my son.... it wasnt until after my 2 son was born that my family dr finally sent me to a pediatrician he was born with health issues so i was scrambling to get him help aswell... I finally took my youngest to the childrens hospitle where he saw an ear nose and throat specialist who was a miricle worker and realised that my son was born deaf his adnoids where to large and that he had bowel issues and acid reflux they had to put him on a special formula called nutramagen they operated on his ears and removed his adnoids he took his first steps when he woke upp from surgery then I raced back home to take my oldest to the pediatrician he was only a fill in but he heard my concern and he said i believe it is adhd and he put my son on dexadrine I at this time had already met and was living with my future husband ...... I was relieved somebody had heard me it wasnt a diagnosis but it was help at lasst and that day I saw my oldest sit and colour for the first time for more than 5 minutes it was 1 whole hour to be exact and my mom and i thought it was a miricle to be sure everyone did.. and it worked okay for a few months and then as time went on he became more and more agressive biting hitting even trying to stab me with a knife when he was 2I went to the dr again again and again until finally a different pediatrician put him on risperadone and upped the dexadrine.... he also sent me for parenting course call triple p parenting and my son to a therapist he said that my son had had a sensory disorder aswell as Learning Disability (LD)'s my son had no developmental difficulties he did every thing far sooner than most children he walked and talked at an accelerated rate infact he was doing complicated things like he learned how to play chess at the age of 2 no word of a lie so anyways the medications helped for a while but then they stopeed working and where causing him dmaage to organs it was a catch 22 so i had a choice to make and I made one I took him off medications and i stopped giving him processed foods and started taking courses to learn how to difuse the rages before it started and exct and now he is doing fairley well for what he has but.... it is not perfect in anyway.. in school he has a tendeancy to tell lies and manipulation is his game there telling the teachers i dont pack him a lunch( he throws it out) telling them i hit him ( i dont) he tries to blackmail me if i dont let him on the cp saying he will tell people i beat him if I dont let him on.. of course i dont becasue it is a trigger issue... he tells the school i take him to oceans and let him swim in shark infested waters ect ect ect now this may sound like no bigie but he has a way of inventing all of this to sound real they belive him even after sicial workers and thereapists tell them its not true and i am a good motehr ect ect... well anwyas i get harrassed byt hte school regualrily and I find that they have create a serious grounds for issues later on they gave my son too much power and he needs the exact opposite of that... I stand my ground and stay strong for my childrens sake I wont let them think i can be manipulated but its all very stressful alot of my healthissues are triggered by stress.... my oldest son doesnt have violent rages at shcool he saves those for at home he does other things instead everyone there thinks he is perfect ect he has difficulties with noise and lights ... I have been to numerous therapists had several phscological evaluations and have been found to be doing very well under All the circumstances of my past... ALL in all I belive that my children are doing well and pushing forward.... I find that video games, processed food, lack of sleep, stress and little or no warning of a change in routine are triggers aswell as sounds are a huge distraction in school and can be a source of fustration we do our best to alleviate theses issues....I have read the explosive child and anyother books i can get my hands on and i will continue to do so.. what I am here for more than anything is a sense of community a place that other parents know what its like.. my life is not out of control and i am not for lack of information its more just acceptance... we have our good days and not so good days and its helpful to know that their are others going through it... anyways i get through each day seeing where we have all come from to where we are now and I see the improvment and it makes me burst with hope and pride [/QUOTE]
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