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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 217278" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Defusing rages: This is the most important learned behavor that I can think of since </p><p>plumbing in a room with a door. It seems so normal. And yet every mother knows that the magic moment when (and if) a child masters all the parts of this amazing self </p><p>contained skill set.</p><p>Relaxation and rage are learned behavor. So why not spend a lot of time and effort to learn the realm of relaxations?</p><p>Massage therapy is a way of introducing the mechanics of non-doing. It is actually </p><p>a participatory relationship between a massage therapist and a recipiant. </p><p>Perhaps contact a massage school and find a empathetic and well trained massage therapist and get the kids in a series of sessions.</p><p>If you (god forbid) have not had a massage then get one first.</p><p>Ask for the help, find a way you can exchange with the school in some way if you can not afford to pay. Find a source for money for this purpose.</p><p>Spend time in pools with your kids...it is a wonderful place to defuse just normal</p><p>energy and after swims it is a very good chance that sleep will be easier.</p><p>Hot tubs. </p><p>The most important thing I feel that I have seen that is universal in rage and emotional outbursts is that the person having one is not feeling good. For small children, teens and adults how to be "there" for the person and not in a virtual tennis match over the behavor and the insults and loopy perseptions is the fast lane to the restored inner stablity that the rage/outburst explodes away from.</p><p>Although not for the weak the service that an adult brings to the emotional exsplosive when we can connect to the person who is esentially in a tornado..</p><p>When the thing dissapates, when the exhaustion that follows is restored with tenderness and sleep and food and tranquility...then you and the person have shared the 'storm". you outside encouraging them just by hanging in there and they themselves...just so lost in "it" whatever "it" is.</p><p>Nurture what is good in your children. Catch them being good. Praise the inner spirit</p><p>that shines. Let them knnow that you know they are finding their way.</p><p>Wow..plus you are remarried? Well I am glade you are in my range of aquaintance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 217278, member: 6271"] Defusing rages: This is the most important learned behavor that I can think of since plumbing in a room with a door. It seems so normal. And yet every mother knows that the magic moment when (and if) a child masters all the parts of this amazing self contained skill set. Relaxation and rage are learned behavor. So why not spend a lot of time and effort to learn the realm of relaxations? Massage therapy is a way of introducing the mechanics of non-doing. It is actually a participatory relationship between a massage therapist and a recipiant. Perhaps contact a massage school and find a empathetic and well trained massage therapist and get the kids in a series of sessions. If you (god forbid) have not had a massage then get one first. Ask for the help, find a way you can exchange with the school in some way if you can not afford to pay. Find a source for money for this purpose. Spend time in pools with your kids...it is a wonderful place to defuse just normal energy and after swims it is a very good chance that sleep will be easier. Hot tubs. The most important thing I feel that I have seen that is universal in rage and emotional outbursts is that the person having one is not feeling good. For small children, teens and adults how to be "there" for the person and not in a virtual tennis match over the behavor and the insults and loopy perseptions is the fast lane to the restored inner stablity that the rage/outburst explodes away from. Although not for the weak the service that an adult brings to the emotional exsplosive when we can connect to the person who is esentially in a tornado.. When the thing dissapates, when the exhaustion that follows is restored with tenderness and sleep and food and tranquility...then you and the person have shared the 'storm". you outside encouraging them just by hanging in there and they themselves...just so lost in "it" whatever "it" is. Nurture what is good in your children. Catch them being good. Praise the inner spirit that shines. Let them knnow that you know they are finding their way. Wow..plus you are remarried? Well I am glade you are in my range of aquaintance. [/QUOTE]
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