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<blockquote data-quote="robinm1922" data-source="post: 231166" data-attributes="member: 6423"><p>Hello,</p><p> </p><p>I know exactly what you are going through, the short of my situation been with my husband since difficult child was 2 1/2 we married when she was 5 and she in now 15. She started having problems last year and was diagnosis with major depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), just found out she may have ADD as well.</p><p>My husband (I love him so much!) is supportive of me but not so much of my difficult child. She has some serious issues with her birth father which has left her very resentful of men. </p><p>I tried to explain to husband that he was in the perfect position to be a friend and not a disciplinarian, with my husband it is all about school. The one big area we are having problems in! She has nose dived with her grades and it is very hard to figure out how to handle that. He is not very good a taking hints so I had to be very blunt. I told him he had to trust that I was going to handle this in what I feel is in her best interest. I didn't leave him a choice and he has been really good at that so far. I see him chewing his cheeks but so far so good. </p><p>The big thing is going to be report cards. That will by my husband's true test, something tells me he is going to chew holes in his cheeks. Time to prepare him for the grades!</p><p>The hardest part is going to be explaining to him why I am not going to punish her for bad grades. She was in crisis most of this grading period and it took a long time to get her out of it. I have a hard time punishing her for something that was out of her control. That is the part husband doesn't quite get. </p><p> </p><p>The only thing that worked for me was laying down the law, since he has backed off some she is responding to him so much better. </p><p>I know you will find a lot of support here, I know I don't feel so alone anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Best of luck!</p><p>Robin</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="robinm1922, post: 231166, member: 6423"] Hello, I know exactly what you are going through, the short of my situation been with my husband since difficult child was 2 1/2 we married when she was 5 and she in now 15. She started having problems last year and was diagnosis with major depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), just found out she may have ADD as well. My husband (I love him so much!) is supportive of me but not so much of my difficult child. She has some serious issues with her birth father which has left her very resentful of men. I tried to explain to husband that he was in the perfect position to be a friend and not a disciplinarian, with my husband it is all about school. The one big area we are having problems in! She has nose dived with her grades and it is very hard to figure out how to handle that. He is not very good a taking hints so I had to be very blunt. I told him he had to trust that I was going to handle this in what I feel is in her best interest. I didn't leave him a choice and he has been really good at that so far. I see him chewing his cheeks but so far so good. The big thing is going to be report cards. That will by my husband's true test, something tells me he is going to chew holes in his cheeks. Time to prepare him for the grades! The hardest part is going to be explaining to him why I am not going to punish her for bad grades. She was in crisis most of this grading period and it took a long time to get her out of it. I have a hard time punishing her for something that was out of her control. That is the part husband doesn't quite get. The only thing that worked for me was laying down the law, since he has backed off some she is responding to him so much better. I know you will find a lot of support here, I know I don't feel so alone anymore. Best of luck! Robin [/QUOTE]
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