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Family of Origin
Hate...what is it?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 667943" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Somebody asked me this question and I couldn't answer. Despise came to mind, but that's just a synonym.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure I really hate so it's hard to define it. Mostly, unless somebody wrongs my kids, I feel more sad and discouraged and angry, but not the effort it takes to hate. Doesn't mean I like or approve of anyone (not that it's my business to approve of anyone), but I know I couldn't kill anyone. If on a jury, I couldn't even vote for the death penalty. I'd have to beg off if it was a death penalty case because I couldn't do that. Not even to somebody who did something horrible.</p><p></p><p>(Maybe that would change if it was somebody I loved deeply. Hard to know).</p><p></p><p>I did not hate the boy we adopted who did so many unthinkable things for a child because HE was a child and had been abused. I didn't want to keep interacting with him, but the thought of "hate" didn't enter my mind. It was more "we can't do this...get him out of here. Let's start to heal." We did. It was one of many things that bonded our family and made us stronger, so it turned out to be a growing experience...what point would there have been in hating and not healing?</p><p></p><p>So what is hate and is it ok to hate people?</p><p></p><p>I hate non-people. I hate war, the Republican tea party (not the people, the organization), people who spit in public and bullies, but those are not individuals. They are groups.</p><p></p><p>I don't hate my FOO. I have at times felt intense dislike which could be seen as hate, but it doesn't last forever. At times it has turned back to love. Lately...more apathy.</p><p></p><p>So...again....what is hate? Is it a bad thing to hate a person unless they have seriously harmed a loved one?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 667943, member: 1550"] Somebody asked me this question and I couldn't answer. Despise came to mind, but that's just a synonym. I'm not sure I really hate so it's hard to define it. Mostly, unless somebody wrongs my kids, I feel more sad and discouraged and angry, but not the effort it takes to hate. Doesn't mean I like or approve of anyone (not that it's my business to approve of anyone), but I know I couldn't kill anyone. If on a jury, I couldn't even vote for the death penalty. I'd have to beg off if it was a death penalty case because I couldn't do that. Not even to somebody who did something horrible. (Maybe that would change if it was somebody I loved deeply. Hard to know). I did not hate the boy we adopted who did so many unthinkable things for a child because HE was a child and had been abused. I didn't want to keep interacting with him, but the thought of "hate" didn't enter my mind. It was more "we can't do this...get him out of here. Let's start to heal." We did. It was one of many things that bonded our family and made us stronger, so it turned out to be a growing experience...what point would there have been in hating and not healing? So what is hate and is it ok to hate people? I hate non-people. I hate war, the Republican tea party (not the people, the organization), people who spit in public and bullies, but those are not individuals. They are groups. I don't hate my FOO. I have at times felt intense dislike which could be seen as hate, but it doesn't last forever. At times it has turned back to love. Lately...more apathy. So...again....what is hate? Is it a bad thing to hate a person unless they have seriously harmed a loved one? [/QUOTE]
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Hate...what is it?
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