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Family of Origin
Hate...what is it?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 667966" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think to hate means you do something mean and bad to somebody. It is not just jealousy. Or lack. You have to act in a cruel way. Not just feelings. Worse than no-contact. I say that because I feel guilt because maybe the reason my sister hates me is because I do not like her and have not for many, many years. She would never know that I do not like her except that I do not want to be around her.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I think it is my fault because she hates me. If I had been strong enough and good enough to want to be near her, maybe she would love me and not want to hurt me and not hate me.</p><p></p><p>Except to have tried to love her into treating me better might have worked about as well as it worked for you two.</p><p></p><p>I wish it were different. I wish I could see her. I wish I did not fear her. </p><p></p><p>Never until she got so mad at me when she tried to put my mother away the first time, did I know she had such rage towards me. I thought she just did not like me very much. I thought she loved me, like I love her. After seeing and feeling her rage, it kind of clarifies all of the little mean things she has done for nearly all her life. She must have disliked me for a long, long time.</p><p></p><p>What came first, the chicken or the egg?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 667966, member: 18958"] I think to hate means you do something mean and bad to somebody. It is not just jealousy. Or lack. You have to act in a cruel way. Not just feelings. Worse than no-contact. I say that because I feel guilt because maybe the reason my sister hates me is because I do not like her and have not for many, many years. She would never know that I do not like her except that I do not want to be around her. Sometimes I think it is my fault because she hates me. If I had been strong enough and good enough to want to be near her, maybe she would love me and not want to hurt me and not hate me. Except to have tried to love her into treating me better might have worked about as well as it worked for you two. I wish it were different. I wish I could see her. I wish I did not fear her. Never until she got so mad at me when she tried to put my mother away the first time, did I know she had such rage towards me. I thought she just did not like me very much. I thought she loved me, like I love her. After seeing and feeling her rage, it kind of clarifies all of the little mean things she has done for nearly all her life. She must have disliked me for a long, long time. What came first, the chicken or the egg? [/QUOTE]
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Hate...what is it?
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