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Have a feeling of impending doom
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 664609" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>You can't believe how powerful 12-step is for them and for us until you experience it yourself. The first time I "crawled" into Al-Anon---you would have thought that would have been my complete rock bottom, but turns out, it wasn't, looking back---I stayed for 18 months, attending regularly, getting a sponsor, etc., but I wasn't 100 percent into the program. I still thought I could control and manage and fix. I didn't want to let go completely---just partially.</p><p></p><p>I stayed away for several years, thinking that, well, I'm now divorced from the alcoholic so...why would I go to Al-Anon? Problem solved.</p><p></p><p>Wrong again. </p><p></p><p>When the severity of my Difficult Child's problems became apparent to me, which again, took some time, because I was in the dark + in denial, I knew right where to go. </p><p></p><p>I went back to Al-Anon---nearly five years ago---and this time I was completely ready to surrender myself and work the program. </p><p></p><p>Since that time, I have grown in ways I never could have imagined. I am a much more honest person today, I have matured greatly, I look at myself first (most of the time) to see what I need to change, instead of looking at others first and focusing on them and how they are doing everything wrong.</p><p></p><p>I have so much more humility and I can say I'm wrong, and I'm sorry, and I changed my mind. </p><p></p><p>There is so much power in even just the silences, in the sameness of the meetings, in the trust, knowing without speaking that other people completely understand. I have learned how to let go more and more and more, and that is why I keep going back, every week, regardless of what Difficult Child does or does not do.</p><p></p><p>Al-Anon is a program for all of life. It is a tremendous gift and it is completely free. All I have to do is keep showing up.</p><p></p><p>If your son would embrace AA...I mean really embrace it...you can't believe what could happen.</p><p></p><p>I am praying that happens for him and for you. Warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 664609, member: 17542"] You can't believe how powerful 12-step is for them and for us until you experience it yourself. The first time I "crawled" into Al-Anon---you would have thought that would have been my complete rock bottom, but turns out, it wasn't, looking back---I stayed for 18 months, attending regularly, getting a sponsor, etc., but I wasn't 100 percent into the program. I still thought I could control and manage and fix. I didn't want to let go completely---just partially. I stayed away for several years, thinking that, well, I'm now divorced from the alcoholic so...why would I go to Al-Anon? Problem solved. Wrong again. When the severity of my Difficult Child's problems became apparent to me, which again, took some time, because I was in the dark + in denial, I knew right where to go. I went back to Al-Anon---nearly five years ago---and this time I was completely ready to surrender myself and work the program. Since that time, I have grown in ways I never could have imagined. I am a much more honest person today, I have matured greatly, I look at myself first (most of the time) to see what I need to change, instead of looking at others first and focusing on them and how they are doing everything wrong. I have so much more humility and I can say I'm wrong, and I'm sorry, and I changed my mind. There is so much power in even just the silences, in the sameness of the meetings, in the trust, knowing without speaking that other people completely understand. I have learned how to let go more and more and more, and that is why I keep going back, every week, regardless of what Difficult Child does or does not do. Al-Anon is a program for all of life. It is a tremendous gift and it is completely free. All I have to do is keep showing up. If your son would embrace AA...I mean really embrace it...you can't believe what could happen. I am praying that happens for him and for you. Warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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