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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 412166" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hey Linda - </p><p> </p><p>At varying times - We did approach this with Dude and we did it under the guidance of his therapist or counselor, or probation officer (as klmno said) and depending on the time it? Some things were used as a tool for maturity. It was part of the rewards system under long term goals. For Dude however it was most definitely a 'should be under' short term goals and self-gratification. </p><p> </p><p>As in - part of his chores were to include - take out trash, sweep drive, pick up white clothes on Wednesday in his room for - XX minutes of bike riding each week. When we asked what did he want to change on his chore list? He said WE should just take out the trash, but he could sweep the drive, and pick the whites up - for XX minutes of bike riding AND time with his friends, plus I could stop monitoring what he wore to school. ( I used to pick 2 outfits and allow him to have a choice). He always worked a better deal for himself. lol - Never failed. </p><p> </p><p>What it ended up in for us most times was a power struggle. I'd try to give him more choices in his life - thinking he was ready for the responsibility of a little more - and what I would get is --</p><p>I will do LESS now - and YOU will do more for me - and I will GET more. I told DF constantly - "If that kid doesn't go and sell cars when he grows up? It will be a waste of pure talent." </p><p> </p><p>Hope it works for you - I mean if you find a niche? Go for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 412166, member: 4964"] Hey Linda - At varying times - We did approach this with Dude and we did it under the guidance of his therapist or counselor, or probation officer (as klmno said) and depending on the time it? Some things were used as a tool for maturity. It was part of the rewards system under long term goals. For Dude however it was most definitely a 'should be under' short term goals and self-gratification. As in - part of his chores were to include - take out trash, sweep drive, pick up white clothes on Wednesday in his room for - XX minutes of bike riding each week. When we asked what did he want to change on his chore list? He said WE should just take out the trash, but he could sweep the drive, and pick the whites up - for XX minutes of bike riding AND time with his friends, plus I could stop monitoring what he wore to school. ( I used to pick 2 outfits and allow him to have a choice). He always worked a better deal for himself. lol - Never failed. What it ended up in for us most times was a power struggle. I'd try to give him more choices in his life - thinking he was ready for the responsibility of a little more - and what I would get is -- I will do LESS now - and YOU will do more for me - and I will GET more. I told DF constantly - "If that kid doesn't go and sell cars when he grows up? It will be a waste of pure talent." Hope it works for you - I mean if you find a niche? Go for it. [/QUOTE]
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