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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 619198" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>oHi Scaredofhim, so glad you're checking in.</p><p>I agree that it would help to not think about biomom at this point. Just use your energy to handle your own household. In fact, if you have Caller ID, I'd screen her calls. She has to learn to deal with-it on her own and to take her dr's advice.</p><p>One thing that helped me out when my son was growing to big for his britches (literally!-- although he only ended up being 5'8"), is to remember that he is a kid, not a man. A kid in a man's body. He has no idea how big he is, although he can be manipulative. I went to counseling with him and with-o him, and was taught not to let him back me into a corner, and not to panic. Not easy when I'm claustrophobic! But when I learned to stand my ground, and to calmly say, "Remember what we learned at Dr. R's?" he learned to back down. I had to do a lot of deep breathing but it worked. Even 15 seconds of waiting on my part made a big difference.</p><p>Also, as I mentioned in other notes, I did call the police. He had to learn that upending tables and chairs and backing me into a corner would earn him a police visit.</p><p>Keep your cell phone with you at all times.</p><p>When he is calm, can you talk to him at all? Tell him in a calm voice, that it makes you sad to see him so angry and out of control because you know he's grown up enough to use words and do the right thing? Don't use the word "scared." Say "sad" or something else. Don't give him ammunition.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 619198, member: 3419"] oHi Scaredofhim, so glad you're checking in. I agree that it would help to not think about biomom at this point. Just use your energy to handle your own household. In fact, if you have Caller ID, I'd screen her calls. She has to learn to deal with-it on her own and to take her dr's advice. One thing that helped me out when my son was growing to big for his britches (literally!-- although he only ended up being 5'8"), is to remember that he is a kid, not a man. A kid in a man's body. He has no idea how big he is, although he can be manipulative. I went to counseling with him and with-o him, and was taught not to let him back me into a corner, and not to panic. Not easy when I'm claustrophobic! But when I learned to stand my ground, and to calmly say, "Remember what we learned at Dr. R's?" he learned to back down. I had to do a lot of deep breathing but it worked. Even 15 seconds of waiting on my part made a big difference. Also, as I mentioned in other notes, I did call the police. He had to learn that upending tables and chairs and backing me into a corner would earn him a police visit. Keep your cell phone with you at all times. When he is calm, can you talk to him at all? Tell him in a calm voice, that it makes you sad to see him so angry and out of control because you know he's grown up enough to use words and do the right thing? Don't use the word "scared." Say "sad" or something else. Don't give him ammunition. [/QUOTE]
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