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<blockquote data-quote="MyFriendKita" data-source="post: 619886" data-attributes="member: 4888"><p>I'm sure MidwestMom means well, but I get really angry when a parent on here tells another parent to wash their hands of a child because there is no hope for that child. My son is remorseful (eventually), when he does something wrong, but you would never know it. He does not show emotions easily, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. I was in the position once of having to believe he was either a spoiled brat who should be punished to the fullest extent of the law until he changed his behavior, or giving him the benefit of the doubt and believing there was a valid reason for his behavior (other than being a spoiled brat). I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt--what did I have to lose? If I was wrong, he would end up in juvie on his own; if I was right, there was a chance he would get the treatment he needed and become a productive member of society. We were told by a psychologist that until he was correctly medicated, no amount of therapy (or anything else) would help him. He turned out to be 100% correct. This was after a therapist told us to let him fall, sending him to juvie if that's what it took. She told us he would have to change on his own before anything would change for him. She was wrong; he could not have changed on his own if he had wanted to. If your son is indeed bipolar (and although MidwestMom is an expert in the way her bipolar manifests itself in her life, she is by no means an expert on how it manifests in every other bipolar person in the world, especially one she's never met), the first thing I would work on is his medications. If he were my son, I would not allow him to be put on any antidepressant or stimulant, especially if he were unstable and raging. I would insist he be put on a mood stabilizer, if I had to keep looking until I found a doctor who would listen. My son is now almost 26; he is not the person he was at 12 or 15 or even 18. Your stepson is 12. He's not done cooking yet, and I don't think he's beyond hope, if he gets the proper help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MyFriendKita, post: 619886, member: 4888"] I'm sure MidwestMom means well, but I get really angry when a parent on here tells another parent to wash their hands of a child because there is no hope for that child. My son is remorseful (eventually), when he does something wrong, but you would never know it. He does not show emotions easily, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. I was in the position once of having to believe he was either a spoiled brat who should be punished to the fullest extent of the law until he changed his behavior, or giving him the benefit of the doubt and believing there was a valid reason for his behavior (other than being a spoiled brat). I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt--what did I have to lose? If I was wrong, he would end up in juvie on his own; if I was right, there was a chance he would get the treatment he needed and become a productive member of society. We were told by a psychologist that until he was correctly medicated, no amount of therapy (or anything else) would help him. He turned out to be 100% correct. This was after a therapist told us to let him fall, sending him to juvie if that's what it took. She told us he would have to change on his own before anything would change for him. She was wrong; he could not have changed on his own if he had wanted to. If your son is indeed bipolar (and although MidwestMom is an expert in the way her bipolar manifests itself in her life, she is by no means an expert on how it manifests in every other bipolar person in the world, especially one she's never met), the first thing I would work on is his medications. If he were my son, I would not allow him to be put on any antidepressant or stimulant, especially if he were unstable and raging. I would insist he be put on a mood stabilizer, if I had to keep looking until I found a doctor who would listen. My son is now almost 26; he is not the person he was at 12 or 15 or even 18. Your stepson is 12. He's not done cooking yet, and I don't think he's beyond hope, if he gets the proper help. [/QUOTE]
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