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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 250742" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Kjs, Where your son is in his life is not your fault - in fact, it really has very little to do with you. At 26, he already knows what he has to do, how to behave respectfully and treat others, how to get a job, how to pay rent or maintain his bills and a car. You can't teach him anything.</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Stop trying to be nice. Stop trying to help him. By continuously trying to find ways of helping him or be nice to him, you're actually hurting him and preventing him from landing on his skinny arse and doing for himself. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Do you ask him to leave? Most definitely. You give him a deadline date and tell him he must leave by such and such date and then stick with it. He has friends and a girlfriend - surely he can find some places to crash until he gets his act together. It's not your problem. Good Lord, kjs, you have enough on your plate with difficult child and H - you can't possibly take anymore. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Do parents who ask their kids to leave worry? Yes, we do. We lose sleep and walk around with headaches wondering if their kid is okay. And I'm talking mostly about younger kids, such as 17 and 18 and 19 year olds. Your son is 26. He's already lived on his own so he knows what's expected, what he needs to do. Try to stop feeling sorry for him about his car, his job, etc. Even if none of those things fell apart by his own doing, it's his life and he needs to take the necessary steps to get back on his feet. Stop paying his darned cell phone - cancel it or suspend services to that line. Cell phones are not necessary and he should get his own. Use the money saved to buy yourself that door or one window at a time or a day at the spa. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Seriously, I'm with Lisa on this one - go find yourself an apt and let them live together without you and all that you do and give of yourself. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #483d8b">Sending strength and hugs~</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 250742, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Kjs, Where your son is in his life is not your fault - in fact, it really has very little to do with you. At 26, he already knows what he has to do, how to behave respectfully and treat others, how to get a job, how to pay rent or maintain his bills and a car. You can't teach him anything.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Stop trying to be nice. Stop trying to help him. By continuously trying to find ways of helping him or be nice to him, you're actually hurting him and preventing him from landing on his skinny arse and doing for himself. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Do you ask him to leave? Most definitely. You give him a deadline date and tell him he must leave by such and such date and then stick with it. He has friends and a girlfriend - surely he can find some places to crash until he gets his act together. It's not your problem. Good Lord, kjs, you have enough on your plate with difficult child and H - you can't possibly take anymore. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Do parents who ask their kids to leave worry? Yes, we do. We lose sleep and walk around with headaches wondering if their kid is okay. And I'm talking mostly about younger kids, such as 17 and 18 and 19 year olds. Your son is 26. He's already lived on his own so he knows what's expected, what he needs to do. Try to stop feeling sorry for him about his car, his job, etc. Even if none of those things fell apart by his own doing, it's his life and he needs to take the necessary steps to get back on his feet. Stop paying his darned cell phone - cancel it or suspend services to that line. Cell phones are not necessary and he should get his own. Use the money saved to buy yourself that door or one window at a time or a day at the spa. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Seriously, I'm with Lisa on this one - go find yourself an apt and let them live together without you and all that you do and give of yourself. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#483d8b][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#483d8b]Sending strength and hugs~[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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