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<blockquote data-quote="Mara11" data-source="post: 251774" data-attributes="member: 6818"><p>Wow, you are dealing with a whole lot of cans of worms at once. No wonder you are tired.</p><p></p><p>The other posts have been rawkin' so I can't add anymore logical advice. What I thought I would add is something that my counselor asks me when I start to sound more than worn at the edges and trying to juggle and please too many people at once, (like last night).</p><p></p><p>She will hear me break it down to one person and one statement and then ask "how can you take your Power back? What can you do to not give away what little you do feel you have left?" Every time she asks me that I spend a week thinking really hard what I can do. It isn't always about finding activities or speaking up to someone. Sometimes it is simply standing up straight and looking a person in the eye. Body language for some of us can speak volumes to the person we are facing. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps one other component to your household being so oppositional with you is that they WANT you to be strong and tell them to back off. Your constantly being a martyr (sorry if that sounds harsh I can't think of another word that fits) for them is ticking them off. They maybe feel you are being controlling, even if you feel out of control, you are the one running the show really. Tell them no, you don't have time to clean this, or worry with that. Little things. They'll bluster and get ******, but they aren't going anywhere. This I've learned through the years with an ODD kiddo. He's not going to disappear and he wants me to succeed and not feel like I hang everything I do and say on what his behaviour of the day is. </p><p></p><p>One more thing (I can't end yet ya know..), I have to ask...your husband told you, you couldn't participate in the list anymore? Scuze me? Those would have been fightin' words for me. But, I'm not you. I don't live in your house, nor have your history. I just know, that for me, uh no.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I am glad I'm single, even when I hate being alone.</p><p></p><p>Mara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mara11, post: 251774, member: 6818"] Wow, you are dealing with a whole lot of cans of worms at once. No wonder you are tired. The other posts have been rawkin' so I can't add anymore logical advice. What I thought I would add is something that my counselor asks me when I start to sound more than worn at the edges and trying to juggle and please too many people at once, (like last night). She will hear me break it down to one person and one statement and then ask "how can you take your Power back? What can you do to not give away what little you do feel you have left?" Every time she asks me that I spend a week thinking really hard what I can do. It isn't always about finding activities or speaking up to someone. Sometimes it is simply standing up straight and looking a person in the eye. Body language for some of us can speak volumes to the person we are facing. Perhaps one other component to your household being so oppositional with you is that they WANT you to be strong and tell them to back off. Your constantly being a martyr (sorry if that sounds harsh I can't think of another word that fits) for them is ticking them off. They maybe feel you are being controlling, even if you feel out of control, you are the one running the show really. Tell them no, you don't have time to clean this, or worry with that. Little things. They'll bluster and get ******, but they aren't going anywhere. This I've learned through the years with an ODD kiddo. He's not going to disappear and he wants me to succeed and not feel like I hang everything I do and say on what his behaviour of the day is. One more thing (I can't end yet ya know..), I have to ask...your husband told you, you couldn't participate in the list anymore? Scuze me? Those would have been fightin' words for me. But, I'm not you. I don't live in your house, nor have your history. I just know, that for me, uh no. Sometimes I am glad I'm single, even when I hate being alone. Mara [/QUOTE]
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