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Having a rough day today
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 640739" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>2m2r,</p><p></p><p>Hugs. I, too, understand what you are going through very well. I found this forum about a year ago. My then 32yo difficult child was treating his dad and myself horribly. For years that dynamic had existed, but I was doggedly determined to keep some kind of relationship with him. Not saying what I wanted to say to him because #1) it would not do a bit of good and #2) it was just hurt our "relationship" more.</p><p></p><p>Finally, finally, finally <strong>i got it :</strong> there was no "relationship". It was just a mother trying for dear life to hang on until our son turned around. He is a sociopath ("diagnosed" by his sister who is a licensed & practicing psychological examiner). And, once husband and I started reading about sociopaths....oh, boy.</p><p></p><p>He has lied to us more times than I could count and has I have read from countless others, would tell a lie when the truth would have been easier. He has stolen. He has re-invented his childhood. He told me about a year ago that his treatment of us was <em>reparation </em>for the way he had been treated.</p><p></p><p>and so, almost a year ago, his dad and I decided enough was enough and it was time to take care of ourselves and spend energy and time on things that we could affect and/or enjoy. I owe that to this forum because reading what others were experiencing was so eye-opening. </p><p></p><p>It has taken this long to feel good. We still pray for our, now 33yo, difficult child daily. We talk about him, wonder how he is. There is no communication. (after a month or two of hateful emails and phone calls from him because we would not send $$).</p><p></p><p>Last time we heard anything was from his girlfriend. It was a long email telling how important it is that we reconnect and let her know if we were interested. I emailed back a short, "We are so happy to hear you two are doing well." husband and i agree that we never want to go down that road again, as much as we love difficult child and want things to be different. Oh, what a dream-come-true that would be, what an answer to prayer!</p><p></p><p>But, for now. today, we live our lives without him. And, honestly, we are much happier and stronger and positive.</p><p></p><p>I know this hurts and I wish you were not enduring this pain. But, you WILL get better & stronger & happier. That, i can promise,</p><p></p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 640739, member: 17635"] 2m2r, Hugs. I, too, understand what you are going through very well. I found this forum about a year ago. My then 32yo difficult child was treating his dad and myself horribly. For years that dynamic had existed, but I was doggedly determined to keep some kind of relationship with him. Not saying what I wanted to say to him because #1) it would not do a bit of good and #2) it was just hurt our "relationship" more. Finally, finally, finally [B]i got it :[/B] there was no "relationship". It was just a mother trying for dear life to hang on until our son turned around. He is a sociopath ("diagnosed" by his sister who is a licensed & practicing psychological examiner). And, once husband and I started reading about sociopaths....oh, boy. He has lied to us more times than I could count and has I have read from countless others, would tell a lie when the truth would have been easier. He has stolen. He has re-invented his childhood. He told me about a year ago that his treatment of us was [I]reparation [/I]for the way he had been treated. and so, almost a year ago, his dad and I decided enough was enough and it was time to take care of ourselves and spend energy and time on things that we could affect and/or enjoy. I owe that to this forum because reading what others were experiencing was so eye-opening. It has taken this long to feel good. We still pray for our, now 33yo, difficult child daily. We talk about him, wonder how he is. There is no communication. (after a month or two of hateful emails and phone calls from him because we would not send $$). Last time we heard anything was from his girlfriend. It was a long email telling how important it is that we reconnect and let her know if we were interested. I emailed back a short, "We are so happy to hear you two are doing well." husband and i agree that we never want to go down that road again, as much as we love difficult child and want things to be different. Oh, what a dream-come-true that would be, what an answer to prayer! But, for now. today, we live our lives without him. And, honestly, we are much happier and stronger and positive. I know this hurts and I wish you were not enduring this pain. But, you WILL get better & stronger & happier. That, i can promise, SS [/QUOTE]
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