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Substance Abuse
Having a rough day :-(
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 690482" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>RN, I know exactly how you feel. I get upset when my daughter tells me negative things or that she is unhappy but if I don't listen I feel like I am not being supportive.</p><p></p><p>I finally learned from my therapy sessions is that it is not my job to make my daughter happy and it is okay for me to tell her that I don't want to hear her complaints or problems because it upsets me. I was told to direct her back to her sponsor or therapist which is what I do. I think your husband is right to tell your son to stop upsetting you. Part of being in recovery is to learn to stop being so self-centered and respect the feelings of others.</p><p></p><p>Are you going to support meetings or therapy? It sounds like you need help with the stress and worry. You are doing very well with all of this . . . far ahead of where I was at your point in this sad journey but I think everyone needs help dealing with a troubled loved one.</p><p></p><p>To be very honest, I see a bumpy road ahead. When your son first went to Delray, you were very happy with his sober living and IOP program. I don't see why the therapist and director would want to railroad your son. I also see red flags about him not wanting to take part in the 12-step meetings. My daughter was like that and always put down meetings but it was because she didn't want to be sober.</p><p></p><p>For the first time, my daughter is participating in meetings and actively working the steps. She is also proud of getting her chips. She was excited to share that she had just received her 90 day chip.</p><p></p><p>I don't know your son so I could be completely wrong and hope that I am. I just don't see that he is truly into the recovery process.</p><p></p><p>I just reread this and don't want to make you feel worse. I just want you to reach out and get the support you need. I waited years until I finally starting seeing my therapist and wish that I had started years ago. It is the single most helpful thing I have done to help learn how to deal with my daughter and her issues.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 690482, member: 1967"] RN, I know exactly how you feel. I get upset when my daughter tells me negative things or that she is unhappy but if I don't listen I feel like I am not being supportive. I finally learned from my therapy sessions is that it is not my job to make my daughter happy and it is okay for me to tell her that I don't want to hear her complaints or problems because it upsets me. I was told to direct her back to her sponsor or therapist which is what I do. I think your husband is right to tell your son to stop upsetting you. Part of being in recovery is to learn to stop being so self-centered and respect the feelings of others. Are you going to support meetings or therapy? It sounds like you need help with the stress and worry. You are doing very well with all of this . . . far ahead of where I was at your point in this sad journey but I think everyone needs help dealing with a troubled loved one. To be very honest, I see a bumpy road ahead. When your son first went to Delray, you were very happy with his sober living and IOP program. I don't see why the therapist and director would want to railroad your son. I also see red flags about him not wanting to take part in the 12-step meetings. My daughter was like that and always put down meetings but it was because she didn't want to be sober. For the first time, my daughter is participating in meetings and actively working the steps. She is also proud of getting her chips. She was excited to share that she had just received her 90 day chip. I don't know your son so I could be completely wrong and hope that I am. I just don't see that he is truly into the recovery process. I just reread this and don't want to make you feel worse. I just want you to reach out and get the support you need. I waited years until I finally starting seeing my therapist and wish that I had started years ago. It is the single most helpful thing I have done to help learn how to deal with my daughter and her issues. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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