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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 764325" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Copa, </p><p>I apologize for being so long in getting a response back to you. I was actually hoping you would chime in when I wrote, because you have such good insight and have helped me and others on this site many times. I just realized that I confused some of what you said and what Tiredof33 said and attributed some of your comments to her. Anyway, reading through your post again, it makes me sad that you have longterm friends who aren't usually or ever able to help bear the burden of sadness. It compounds the grief with loneliness and isolation. </p><p>Yes, all of us who have adult children like these have been traumatized. I just never put two and two together on that until someone pointed it out to me recently, and it was like an "ah ha" moment, and I realized, "That's why I feel and react the way I do." I think it's actually called something like "Complex PTSD." I can understand what you mean about having contact being harder in some ways. Everyday, I go to the Maricopa Sheriff's Office website and check to see if Josh has been arrested. I look through the mugshots, and I wonder if I would even be able to recognize him if he were there because of the drugs/alcohol and homelessness. Part of me hopes to find him there and part of me is relieved that he is not there-yet. He's actually been cited several times over the last few months for shoplifting and possessing drug paraphernalia but never taken into custody. The only reason I know that is because I have called the missing person's department and they have updated me on incidents he has been involved in. But there has been nothing on him since early September. I think this would be easier to accept if I knew without any doubt that going no contact with us is truly his choice. That he wants nothing to do with us. It would hurt but I could accept it easier than wondering if he WOULD contact us if he could or that he is silent because of shame. </p><p>I am sorry for YOUR suffering too. I can sense your deep love for your son, and I'm sorry that you are going through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 764325, member: 22597"] Copa, I apologize for being so long in getting a response back to you. I was actually hoping you would chime in when I wrote, because you have such good insight and have helped me and others on this site many times. I just realized that I confused some of what you said and what Tiredof33 said and attributed some of your comments to her. Anyway, reading through your post again, it makes me sad that you have longterm friends who aren't usually or ever able to help bear the burden of sadness. It compounds the grief with loneliness and isolation. Yes, all of us who have adult children like these have been traumatized. I just never put two and two together on that until someone pointed it out to me recently, and it was like an "ah ha" moment, and I realized, "That's why I feel and react the way I do." I think it's actually called something like "Complex PTSD." I can understand what you mean about having contact being harder in some ways. Everyday, I go to the Maricopa Sheriff's Office website and check to see if Josh has been arrested. I look through the mugshots, and I wonder if I would even be able to recognize him if he were there because of the drugs/alcohol and homelessness. Part of me hopes to find him there and part of me is relieved that he is not there-yet. He's actually been cited several times over the last few months for shoplifting and possessing drug paraphernalia but never taken into custody. The only reason I know that is because I have called the missing person's department and they have updated me on incidents he has been involved in. But there has been nothing on him since early September. I think this would be easier to accept if I knew without any doubt that going no contact with us is truly his choice. That he wants nothing to do with us. It would hurt but I could accept it easier than wondering if he WOULD contact us if he could or that he is silent because of shame. I am sorry for YOUR suffering too. I can sense your deep love for your son, and I'm sorry that you are going through this. [/QUOTE]
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