Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
He Called Me Retarded, Mom ~ UPDATED ~
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 27330" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Ditto, oceans. I don't think I need to repeat everyone else.</p><p></p><p>One thing, though - it happened to us, a lot. difficult child 1 & easy child 2/difficult child 2 had to travel on the bus with a few bullies, one of whom (trying to get a reaction out of our two) said, "You're the ones with the retard little brother."</p><p>My reaction was to write an article in our local paper (not mentioning names, of course) pointing out that parents should be careful what they say in front of their kids, because it was clear to me that in this case it was parental misunderstanding that was colouring their son's perceptions. And it was also a statement born of their son's fear, that HE wasn't bright either, and had to put someone else down even more so he could feel better about himself.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 also got into trouble for calling a bully, "<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> retard" and was told by his teacher that calling kids names like this would not help him make friends. She then reported it to me in his Communication Book. I wrote back, "He doesn't hear words like this at home, as you well know. He used those words to hurt someone because those same words were used on him. The 'retard' tag should have been obvious - he is a target for labels like that, yet you blame HIM without asking where he heard it first? Did you ever consider that the kid who got the word thrown at him was the one who used it on him in the first place?"</p><p>I'm not saying your son was the instigator - when words like "retard" are used TO difficult children, then generally it's the primary source. When a difficult child uses the word himself as an insult, it's generally a secondary source and their target is a likely primary source.</p><p></p><p>Does this make sense?</p><p></p><p>It has taken me a long time to convince difficult child 3 that he is a bright kid. Bullies like this can do a lot of harm. But as he has begun to accept that he is intelligent, he has begun to USE it more and really try hard with schoolwork. Frankly, we had to leave mainstream for this to happen because kids like these bullies are always around, always trying to drag other people down so THEY don't get shown up as inadequate. Tell your son t hat if he's being bullied by this horror, that he is clearly doing something right for himself because this kid can't stand comparison with him.</p><p></p><p>And yes, it's time to step in. If your son cops it worse as a result of your intervention, put your steel-capped boots on and kick HARD, all the way to the top. Good Morning America, if you have to. been there done that, very satisfying when the bullies finally back off because you can kick back harder (and more appropriately) than they can.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 27330, member: 1991"] Ditto, oceans. I don't think I need to repeat everyone else. One thing, though - it happened to us, a lot. difficult child 1 & easy child 2/difficult child 2 had to travel on the bus with a few bullies, one of whom (trying to get a reaction out of our two) said, "You're the ones with the retard little brother." My reaction was to write an article in our local paper (not mentioning names, of course) pointing out that parents should be careful what they say in front of their kids, because it was clear to me that in this case it was parental misunderstanding that was colouring their son's perceptions. And it was also a statement born of their son's fear, that HE wasn't bright either, and had to put someone else down even more so he could feel better about himself. difficult child 3 also got into trouble for calling a bully, ":censored: retard" and was told by his teacher that calling kids names like this would not help him make friends. She then reported it to me in his Communication Book. I wrote back, "He doesn't hear words like this at home, as you well know. He used those words to hurt someone because those same words were used on him. The 'retard' tag should have been obvious - he is a target for labels like that, yet you blame HIM without asking where he heard it first? Did you ever consider that the kid who got the word thrown at him was the one who used it on him in the first place?" I'm not saying your son was the instigator - when words like "retard" are used TO difficult children, then generally it's the primary source. When a difficult child uses the word himself as an insult, it's generally a secondary source and their target is a likely primary source. Does this make sense? It has taken me a long time to convince difficult child 3 that he is a bright kid. Bullies like this can do a lot of harm. But as he has begun to accept that he is intelligent, he has begun to USE it more and really try hard with schoolwork. Frankly, we had to leave mainstream for this to happen because kids like these bullies are always around, always trying to drag other people down so THEY don't get shown up as inadequate. Tell your son t hat if he's being bullied by this horror, that he is clearly doing something right for himself because this kid can't stand comparison with him. And yes, it's time to step in. If your son cops it worse as a result of your intervention, put your steel-capped boots on and kick HARD, all the way to the top. Good Morning America, if you have to. been there done that, very satisfying when the bullies finally back off because you can kick back harder (and more appropriately) than they can. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
He Called Me Retarded, Mom ~ UPDATED ~
Top