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General Parenting
He Doesn't Have a Clue...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 298505" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This situation sounds sadder and sadder for everyone involved each time I read it. Regardless of difficult child's mental illness/sociopathy, his life seems to be totally without hope from his point of view. I know he destroys things, but it still just seems sad to be alone in his room under lockdown all the time. I also know it is for safety reasons, but I think H should be horsewhipped for not getting him into more secure surroundings so that difficult child and all who know him can be safe.</p><p></p><p>I hope that you go to AlAnon meetings. If you are not already going, you need to start. While H is the alcoholic, YOU picked him to marry. We all tend to pick what we are familiar with and/or think we deserve. On some level you chose H and his problems. Alcoholism truly is a family disease. I personally can look to each and every relative on both sides of my family and pinpoint the many alcoholics swinging through the family tree. I chose AlAnon when husband and I first got married because I wanted better for my children. husband wanted better for his children also - his family has the same problems with alcohol.</p><p></p><p>There are many MANY meetings in just about every town across the country. I would liek to invite you to go to several different meetings until you find one you are comfortable with. Your children have now lived with your alcoholic H for quite a while so they should be going to Alateen as often as possible. make it an activity that they get rewarded for. It will only make them healthier and happier people as they grow. It also can help them see the alcoholic tendencies they have and it will give them a fighting chance to avoid it.</p><p></p><p>The meetings can only make you stronger. They will give you a wonderful support base and can help you learn to navigate this difficult subject with the least amount of negative impact to you and to your children.</p><p></p><p>You can find meetings in the phone book, listed in many newspapers, or online. For your children you may want to suggest Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings. At least for the children in college. </p><p></p><p>Hoping and praying you can find a way out of this mess into the sunshine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 298505, member: 1233"] This situation sounds sadder and sadder for everyone involved each time I read it. Regardless of difficult child's mental illness/sociopathy, his life seems to be totally without hope from his point of view. I know he destroys things, but it still just seems sad to be alone in his room under lockdown all the time. I also know it is for safety reasons, but I think H should be horsewhipped for not getting him into more secure surroundings so that difficult child and all who know him can be safe. I hope that you go to AlAnon meetings. If you are not already going, you need to start. While H is the alcoholic, YOU picked him to marry. We all tend to pick what we are familiar with and/or think we deserve. On some level you chose H and his problems. Alcoholism truly is a family disease. I personally can look to each and every relative on both sides of my family and pinpoint the many alcoholics swinging through the family tree. I chose AlAnon when husband and I first got married because I wanted better for my children. husband wanted better for his children also - his family has the same problems with alcohol. There are many MANY meetings in just about every town across the country. I would liek to invite you to go to several different meetings until you find one you are comfortable with. Your children have now lived with your alcoholic H for quite a while so they should be going to Alateen as often as possible. make it an activity that they get rewarded for. It will only make them healthier and happier people as they grow. It also can help them see the alcoholic tendencies they have and it will give them a fighting chance to avoid it. The meetings can only make you stronger. They will give you a wonderful support base and can help you learn to navigate this difficult subject with the least amount of negative impact to you and to your children. You can find meetings in the phone book, listed in many newspapers, or online. For your children you may want to suggest Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings. At least for the children in college. Hoping and praying you can find a way out of this mess into the sunshine. [/QUOTE]
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