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Parent Emeritus
He left. What's next for me?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 664059" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>We do. From positions of weakness ~ for me, this is true. From a place of desperate fear which precludes strength or faith.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>To the degree that, having tried all the fear-based stuff, we choose to be a different kind of mother, a different kind of self. We choose that, rooting out the fear and coming out clean.</p><p></p><p>Maybe this is true, or maybe it is justifying choices already made.</p><p></p><p>That's the thing.</p><p></p><p>You never know.</p><p></p><p>So we are in that place of not knowing a darn thing again.</p><p></p><p>But it doesn't feel like a complacent choice to me this time. It feels like I literally don't know.</p><p></p><p>Which means I am neither predicting nor catastrophizing nor regretting. For this audience, for whom I am writing this post, this is true.</p><p></p><p>But the truth is that I deeply regret what has happened to all of us.</p><p></p><p>So this must be the Now; must be the Power of Now. This must be Presence. </p><p></p><p>It doesn't hold up very well to the immediacy of a child's pain. I can sit with it right now because right now, Now is an acceptable, and even a pleasant, thing.</p><p></p><p>I'm just sayin'.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 664059, member: 17461"] We do. From positions of weakness ~ for me, this is true. From a place of desperate fear which precludes strength or faith. To the degree that, having tried all the fear-based stuff, we choose to be a different kind of mother, a different kind of self. We choose that, rooting out the fear and coming out clean. Maybe this is true, or maybe it is justifying choices already made. That's the thing. You never know. So we are in that place of not knowing a darn thing again. But it doesn't feel like a complacent choice to me this time. It feels like I literally don't know. Which means I am neither predicting nor catastrophizing nor regretting. For this audience, for whom I am writing this post, this is true. But the truth is that I deeply regret what has happened to all of us. So this must be the Now; must be the Power of Now. This must be Presence. It doesn't hold up very well to the immediacy of a child's pain. I can sit with it right now because right now, Now is an acceptable, and even a pleasant, thing. I'm just sayin'. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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