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He relapsed....told me tonight!
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 459569" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>It's amazing how comforting it is to know that others "feel your pain"...kinda sick, probably. There really is no family member to reach out to. His Father was a major internalized (yes, still to date) factor in changing his life for the worst. in my humble opinion the three things that combined to change him from a easy child were (1) GFGmom for lots of reasons but specifically by bringing home the former prisoner to live in her house. He was into alcohol and likely drugs and booze (at least) were available to difficult child#1. He lived on the "edge" of morality. (2) The end of his stellar baseball status when his difficult child coach blackballed him from the All Star Team at thirteen. He had been with that group and at the park six blocks from our house from the age of 5. Obviously he lost not only the time consuming activity and commraderis but his easy child friends. (3) His bioDad came into his life at the age of ten +or- and avowed his love. He and his wife took him to church on Sunday and the "family" went out to breakfast afterwards. difficult child#1 was allowed by the Church to have an individualized fast track to make his Communion. He astounded the Nun because he absorbed and aced all the info. BioDad and family had a celebration brunch because they were so proud of him. <strong>Then</strong> a week or two passed with no contact....they left the community, relocated and <strong>never</strong> reached out again. His Biodad called GFGmom with a request to visit him when word spread about his brain surgery. I said "not now". Once difficult child#1 was home from the second hospital (the Rehab hospital in Jacksonville) his bioDad spoke with him on the phone. He explained that "they" had run into urgent financial crises etc. and that was why they left, told him that he loved him, told him where he lived (two hours away, by the way) and said "I hope you are well soon and maybe you can come meet me for lunch when you are better". That was it!</p><p></p><p>As you know I have a major easy child daughter in Georgia. She and her husband do love difficult child#1 <strong>but </strong>her husband is a recovering alcoholic. They are not prepared to face addiction in their household. He is always welcome to visit (and did stay three nights at their house a few months ago when we sent him on a roadtrip to a Brake School in the Carolinas) and they enjoyed him as always. He can "keep it together for days at a time when needed". I share most with her but I don't think I'm going to share these latest problems. It will just cause her to worry more about me. Thankfully I have the Board family to vent to, lol. So...that's where we are. </p><p></p><p>I have no funds for rehab but have reached out to a couple of places looking for grants or whatever. Believe it or not there is one man in our County that does counseling plus a weekly group (faith based addiction specialist) who difficult child#1 believes is a good man who truly understands. There is a remote chance that he might connect and open up to this guy. If I can't find an affordable choice I "may" offer that as an alternative to leaving home. He is attached to us and with his multiple problems I know that his future is at stake. Were he to move in with GFGmom within a week he'd be hanging full time with "street" friends. Sad situation for all of us. Thanks again everyone. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 459569, member: 35"] It's amazing how comforting it is to know that others "feel your pain"...kinda sick, probably. There really is no family member to reach out to. His Father was a major internalized (yes, still to date) factor in changing his life for the worst. in my humble opinion the three things that combined to change him from a easy child were (1) GFGmom for lots of reasons but specifically by bringing home the former prisoner to live in her house. He was into alcohol and likely drugs and booze (at least) were available to difficult child#1. He lived on the "edge" of morality. (2) The end of his stellar baseball status when his difficult child coach blackballed him from the All Star Team at thirteen. He had been with that group and at the park six blocks from our house from the age of 5. Obviously he lost not only the time consuming activity and commraderis but his easy child friends. (3) His bioDad came into his life at the age of ten +or- and avowed his love. He and his wife took him to church on Sunday and the "family" went out to breakfast afterwards. difficult child#1 was allowed by the Church to have an individualized fast track to make his Communion. He astounded the Nun because he absorbed and aced all the info. BioDad and family had a celebration brunch because they were so proud of him. [B]Then[/B] a week or two passed with no contact....they left the community, relocated and [B]never[/B] reached out again. His Biodad called GFGmom with a request to visit him when word spread about his brain surgery. I said "not now". Once difficult child#1 was home from the second hospital (the Rehab hospital in Jacksonville) his bioDad spoke with him on the phone. He explained that "they" had run into urgent financial crises etc. and that was why they left, told him that he loved him, told him where he lived (two hours away, by the way) and said "I hope you are well soon and maybe you can come meet me for lunch when you are better". That was it! As you know I have a major easy child daughter in Georgia. She and her husband do love difficult child#1 [B]but [/B]her husband is a recovering alcoholic. They are not prepared to face addiction in their household. He is always welcome to visit (and did stay three nights at their house a few months ago when we sent him on a roadtrip to a Brake School in the Carolinas) and they enjoyed him as always. He can "keep it together for days at a time when needed". I share most with her but I don't think I'm going to share these latest problems. It will just cause her to worry more about me. Thankfully I have the Board family to vent to, lol. So...that's where we are. I have no funds for rehab but have reached out to a couple of places looking for grants or whatever. Believe it or not there is one man in our County that does counseling plus a weekly group (faith based addiction specialist) who difficult child#1 believes is a good man who truly understands. There is a remote chance that he might connect and open up to this guy. If I can't find an affordable choice I "may" offer that as an alternative to leaving home. He is attached to us and with his multiple problems I know that his future is at stake. Were he to move in with GFGmom within a week he'd be hanging full time with "street" friends. Sad situation for all of us. Thanks again everyone. DDD [/QUOTE]
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