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He wants to spend the night.
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<blockquote data-quote="in a daze" data-source="post: 663465" data-attributes="member: 15832"><p>Thanks, Recovering. I'm sure he's clueless as many of our difficult kids are to the affect they have on us.</p><p></p><p>Tanya, his inability to have fun because of his depression and his social anxiety used to really bother me. Last spring, he would text us every other Saturday night around 5 pm "hey u want to come up and get some dinner?" (We never took him up on it). How sad that a 28 year old guy would want to hang out with his parents instead of people his own age. Now my daughter likes getting together with us and enjoys our company and has gone on several vacations with us, but she's not one to call us up on a Saturday night because she has friends and a LIFE. This doesn't bother me as much as it used to maybe because he seemed to be getting a little more social lately. </p><p></p><p>Child, they have no idea what they do to us emotionally. My heart sinks when I see his name flash on my screen. Now he calls my husband most of the time, so when i hear that iPhone ringtone my heart rate goes up a little bit. </p><p></p><p>Jabber, I know the feeling. He's spent the night first time last Christmas eve and I was a complete wreck because we had 25 family members over for dinner and there was all this booze around which easy child and husband somehow hid or something. And then he was up and down, looking in the fridge, in the garage smoking. I got no sleep. Just because he was home. It's that hypervigilance that u mention happens at the prison, and I think it is triggered by a combination of him being up and down and all those bad memories. Then he stayed over at Easter and it wasn't bad because we told him be quiet and no running up and down and he complied. Then he stayed over the last time and came home at 2 am. That was not good.</p><p></p><p>So now he's campaigning his dad to stay the night and doesn't want to go out with his friends anymore. Tired of living in the sober living residence. So he's compromising just so he can stay here this weekend. He is really getting pathetic. </p><p></p><p>My husband says he doesn't mind if he spends the night every few months. He said, don't worry, he'll never move back here, I won't allow it. I don't mind, either. It's this going out with the old friends and staying out which causes such anxiety and flashbacks to me.</p><p></p><p>I may just tell him no, even though he's not going to see the friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="in a daze, post: 663465, member: 15832"] Thanks, Recovering. I'm sure he's clueless as many of our difficult kids are to the affect they have on us. Tanya, his inability to have fun because of his depression and his social anxiety used to really bother me. Last spring, he would text us every other Saturday night around 5 pm "hey u want to come up and get some dinner?" (We never took him up on it). How sad that a 28 year old guy would want to hang out with his parents instead of people his own age. Now my daughter likes getting together with us and enjoys our company and has gone on several vacations with us, but she's not one to call us up on a Saturday night because she has friends and a LIFE. This doesn't bother me as much as it used to maybe because he seemed to be getting a little more social lately. Child, they have no idea what they do to us emotionally. My heart sinks when I see his name flash on my screen. Now he calls my husband most of the time, so when i hear that iPhone ringtone my heart rate goes up a little bit. Jabber, I know the feeling. He's spent the night first time last Christmas eve and I was a complete wreck because we had 25 family members over for dinner and there was all this booze around which easy child and husband somehow hid or something. And then he was up and down, looking in the fridge, in the garage smoking. I got no sleep. Just because he was home. It's that hypervigilance that u mention happens at the prison, and I think it is triggered by a combination of him being up and down and all those bad memories. Then he stayed over at Easter and it wasn't bad because we told him be quiet and no running up and down and he complied. Then he stayed over the last time and came home at 2 am. That was not good. So now he's campaigning his dad to stay the night and doesn't want to go out with his friends anymore. Tired of living in the sober living residence. So he's compromising just so he can stay here this weekend. He is really getting pathetic. My husband says he doesn't mind if he spends the night every few months. He said, don't worry, he'll never move back here, I won't allow it. I don't mind, either. It's this going out with the old friends and staying out which causes such anxiety and flashbacks to me. I may just tell him no, even though he's not going to see the friends. [/QUOTE]
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