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Heartbroken over lost dreams
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 574105" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>This isn't really about adopted kids.</p><p>Scan the sigs on this board... there's at least as many non-adopted difficult children as there are adopted ones.</p><p>There are at least as many non-achieving - and/or limited potential - kids out there who are adopted vs in birth family.</p><p></p><p>It isn't even about the kids.</p><p>It's about US.</p><p></p><p>I gave up my dreams years ago.</p><p>The "white picket fence" that SuZir talks about... never got it.</p><p>Wanted to be a stay at home mom. Didn't get that either.</p><p>Dreamed of being able to take 2-week vacations as a family. It doesn't work, not here, not now, hasn't for years, probably never will.</p><p>Simple things ... I will never have.</p><p></p><p>And yet.</p><p>I didn't think I'd ever get married.</p><p>Much less have kids.</p><p>And a house, a car, two dogs... and a raft of other things.</p><p></p><p>I don't have "dreams" for my kids.</p><p>I don't even encourage THEM to have "dreams".</p><p>Plans, yes. Goals, definitely. But tangible, reachable, realistic.</p><p>If they can turn out to be kind, loving, productive members of society, I'll be pleased.</p><p>If they can raise a couple of kids to be that way too... THEN I may be proud.</p><p>But even that isn't mine to dream.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 574105, member: 11791"] This isn't really about adopted kids. Scan the sigs on this board... there's at least as many non-adopted difficult children as there are adopted ones. There are at least as many non-achieving - and/or limited potential - kids out there who are adopted vs in birth family. It isn't even about the kids. It's about US. I gave up my dreams years ago. The "white picket fence" that SuZir talks about... never got it. Wanted to be a stay at home mom. Didn't get that either. Dreamed of being able to take 2-week vacations as a family. It doesn't work, not here, not now, hasn't for years, probably never will. Simple things ... I will never have. And yet. I didn't think I'd ever get married. Much less have kids. And a house, a car, two dogs... and a raft of other things. I don't have "dreams" for my kids. I don't even encourage THEM to have "dreams". Plans, yes. Goals, definitely. But tangible, reachable, realistic. If they can turn out to be kind, loving, productive members of society, I'll be pleased. If they can raise a couple of kids to be that way too... THEN I may be proud. But even that isn't mine to dream. [/QUOTE]
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