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Heartbroken over lost dreams
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 574469" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>You certainly make me feel low. I <strong>try </strong>to tell myself, howIi just want my kids to be happy and healthy and accept them in the way they are. But in the reality, in that dark place in the bottom of my heart: Nah, not enough.</p><p></p><p>I will be disappointed if my kids end up drifting through life. If they don't use gifts they are given. I will of course love them, but I will be disappointed too. If they do that, I feel they are cheating life and themselves. Both of them have talents, just taking an easy way out isn't enough. </p><p></p><p>I may be living my life through them, after all I did aim for safety and haven't been ambitious or done all that could be done with things I was given. And I'm not unhappy. But I do expect more from my sons. With difficult child there will most likely be detours and his challenges will likely always make it more difficult for him to realize his potential and he will likely have to come up with his own way of doing so. But if he ends up living off welfare or doing odd jobs and using his free time to dabbling with his interests and not using his talents to anything worthwhile - I will be disappointed. With easy child I don't worry. He will become productive individual whatever he will choose to be and he will be driven enough to not to take an easy way out, I'm sure of that. With difficult child it is a possibility. Till now he has been much more intense, more driven of the two, but he could burn out.</p><p></p><p>EDIT: I want to clarify that I don't blame you of making me feel low. I just in the way hope I could truely feel that I would be happy if my kids just are healthy and happy and not to be disappointed if they don't live up my hopes for them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 574469, member: 14557"] You certainly make me feel low. I [B]try [/B]to tell myself, howIi just want my kids to be happy and healthy and accept them in the way they are. But in the reality, in that dark place in the bottom of my heart: Nah, not enough. I will be disappointed if my kids end up drifting through life. If they don't use gifts they are given. I will of course love them, but I will be disappointed too. If they do that, I feel they are cheating life and themselves. Both of them have talents, just taking an easy way out isn't enough. I may be living my life through them, after all I did aim for safety and haven't been ambitious or done all that could be done with things I was given. And I'm not unhappy. But I do expect more from my sons. With difficult child there will most likely be detours and his challenges will likely always make it more difficult for him to realize his potential and he will likely have to come up with his own way of doing so. But if he ends up living off welfare or doing odd jobs and using his free time to dabbling with his interests and not using his talents to anything worthwhile - I will be disappointed. With easy child I don't worry. He will become productive individual whatever he will choose to be and he will be driven enough to not to take an easy way out, I'm sure of that. With difficult child it is a possibility. Till now he has been much more intense, more driven of the two, but he could burn out. EDIT: I want to clarify that I don't blame you of making me feel low. I just in the way hope I could truely feel that I would be happy if my kids just are healthy and happy and not to be disappointed if they don't live up my hopes for them. [/QUOTE]
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