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Heartbroken over lost dreams
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 574509" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>JJJ, I hear you. We all grow up thinking that with hard work we(and our children) can achieve anything we want or are capable to do. I always thought that when I heard difficult child "was very bright" that maybe he would grow up being a lovable eccentric. </p><p>Unfortunately, an IQ number without productive use of it is just a number. There are many brilliant people who are homeless because they can't use their intelligence to function. I have no doubt that if difficult child didn't have supports in place and a family to keep tabs that he would be part of that invisible population of homeless. </p><p>If your children give a 100% can be honestly employed, independent, law abiding, tax paying citizens then they have used what intelligence they have. More so than some of your mensa relatives I would bet. I have come to really appreciate that IQ is a measurement of ability not of success. </p><p> Hopefully, your difficult child will shine where she can shine. My difficult child graduated 16 from the bottom of a class of several hundred but there wasn't one parent more proud of their difficult child than I was. </p><p>I know you are working through things and you will continue to be the supportive nurturing, loving mom to this child as you always have been but it is good to think topics through and ask ourselves "who does this serve?" </p><p>We have all mourned the loss of the perfect child at some point in our lives with difficult child. Hang in there, she may surprise you yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 574509, member: 3"] JJJ, I hear you. We all grow up thinking that with hard work we(and our children) can achieve anything we want or are capable to do. I always thought that when I heard difficult child "was very bright" that maybe he would grow up being a lovable eccentric. Unfortunately, an IQ number without productive use of it is just a number. There are many brilliant people who are homeless because they can't use their intelligence to function. I have no doubt that if difficult child didn't have supports in place and a family to keep tabs that he would be part of that invisible population of homeless. If your children give a 100% can be honestly employed, independent, law abiding, tax paying citizens then they have used what intelligence they have. More so than some of your mensa relatives I would bet. I have come to really appreciate that IQ is a measurement of ability not of success. Hopefully, your difficult child will shine where she can shine. My difficult child graduated 16 from the bottom of a class of several hundred but there wasn't one parent more proud of their difficult child than I was. I know you are working through things and you will continue to be the supportive nurturing, loving mom to this child as you always have been but it is good to think topics through and ask ourselves "who does this serve?" We have all mourned the loss of the perfect child at some point in our lives with difficult child. Hang in there, she may surprise you yet. [/QUOTE]
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