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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 733470" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Heavy Hearted, I just finished reading this thread and I have to say I think you did do the right thing. I should have done it sooner.</p><p></p><p>We ended up putting our son our at 19. He was stealing from us. He didn't even have the excuse of addiction, though alcohol and pot was a large part of it I'm sure, maybe even harder drugs, but not true addiction. But I will admit, I enabled him. Even when he was living in our towns shelter, I took him food and occasionally gave him money. We even rented him a terrible little apartment for a time. Eventually though, after many ups and downs, he went to another state and I could no longer send him money once his ID expired. He had to fend for himself and guess what? He did. He's doing much better these days.</p><p></p><p>When our son was still here though, he would text or call and beg for money or for a ride or whatever. Funny thing was, if we'd say, "We can't do it now, but if you really need a ride, we'll be there in 3 hours" he'd find a ride long before that. If your son has no money, he needs to find a job. If he has no home, he needs to find a shelter or crash on one of his friend's couches. If he wants food, there are food pantries and soup kitchens and churches. At least he has a car to sleep in. That's more than my son had when we put him out. He could give his friends rides in exchange for gas money for his car. He needs to call his probation officer and tell them his new situation and that he has no money to get there and see what they say. He can figure it out.</p><p></p><p>I know what this is like. The "how can I eat when my son is hungry" and "how can I sleep in this nice house when he's out there in the cold" feelings. He's your son. He's your baby boy. Except he's NOT a baby. He is a grown man and more resourceful than you know. </p><p></p><p>I used to text my son, "You are an adult. I'm sure you can figure this out." He HATED it. But it was true, which was probably why he hated it. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 733470, member: 17309"] Heavy Hearted, I just finished reading this thread and I have to say I think you did do the right thing. I should have done it sooner. We ended up putting our son our at 19. He was stealing from us. He didn't even have the excuse of addiction, though alcohol and pot was a large part of it I'm sure, maybe even harder drugs, but not true addiction. But I will admit, I enabled him. Even when he was living in our towns shelter, I took him food and occasionally gave him money. We even rented him a terrible little apartment for a time. Eventually though, after many ups and downs, he went to another state and I could no longer send him money once his ID expired. He had to fend for himself and guess what? He did. He's doing much better these days. When our son was still here though, he would text or call and beg for money or for a ride or whatever. Funny thing was, if we'd say, "We can't do it now, but if you really need a ride, we'll be there in 3 hours" he'd find a ride long before that. If your son has no money, he needs to find a job. If he has no home, he needs to find a shelter or crash on one of his friend's couches. If he wants food, there are food pantries and soup kitchens and churches. At least he has a car to sleep in. That's more than my son had when we put him out. He could give his friends rides in exchange for gas money for his car. He needs to call his probation officer and tell them his new situation and that he has no money to get there and see what they say. He can figure it out. I know what this is like. The "how can I eat when my son is hungry" and "how can I sleep in this nice house when he's out there in the cold" feelings. He's your son. He's your baby boy. Except he's NOT a baby. He is a grown man and more resourceful than you know. I used to text my son, "You are an adult. I'm sure you can figure this out." He HATED it. But it was true, which was probably why he hated it. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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