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Hello, all - new here ... looking for help ...
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<blockquote data-quote="brandy514" data-source="post: 323062" data-attributes="member: 8536"><p>Hello! I am new to the board - I found it while searching for information on how to handle my teen, and reading more and more about ODD. It sure sounds like what we are going through. I am at my wits end - my son is 14 and constantly trying to start fights with us, is getting abusive with my 3 year old son and last night was cussing at my husband. We are at our wits end ... not even sure what else we can do. It seems like when we follow the "positive parenting techniques" he gets worse, he is manipulative and takes advantage of us ... when we mess up and yell back, he gets mad - whatever happens, it's never his fault. My 3 year old was play fighting and tried to kick him - we intervene as always, but my 14 year old felt justified in kicking him hard enough to send him across the room - and said as much. When we try to explain things to him, he's defiant and blames us for being "bad parents" - that he's not the parent and he should be able to do whatever to the other kids. He feels that it's their fault. We have other children and he's of the same opinion with them too, but it's more emotional with them as they are closer to his age. That's just one example. Thanksgiving was a nightmare! I am actually glad for the week to be over, and sad that it was such a bad experience for everyone. I am not sure what to do, part of me wants to send him to live with his mom, but I know he would hate us for it. The problem is that his relationship with my husband and I is degrading so rapidly, that there's not much else we can do - he incites us, intentionally and then feels justrified when he finally wears us down. It's exhausting. I would have NEVER spoken to my parents the way he talks to us - I would have had my face slapped off. Whenever things get heated, he gets mean and spiteful and just argues and argues - he says things like we can't touch him or we'll go to jail, and then he taunts and taunts. My husband is taking an anger management class to help him cope with this stuff, but it's really hard to do the right thing all the time when you're constantly being attacked. Sorry for the long winded post - I'd love to chat with someone with similar experiences ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="brandy514, post: 323062, member: 8536"] Hello! I am new to the board - I found it while searching for information on how to handle my teen, and reading more and more about ODD. It sure sounds like what we are going through. I am at my wits end - my son is 14 and constantly trying to start fights with us, is getting abusive with my 3 year old son and last night was cussing at my husband. We are at our wits end ... not even sure what else we can do. It seems like when we follow the "positive parenting techniques" he gets worse, he is manipulative and takes advantage of us ... when we mess up and yell back, he gets mad - whatever happens, it's never his fault. My 3 year old was play fighting and tried to kick him - we intervene as always, but my 14 year old felt justified in kicking him hard enough to send him across the room - and said as much. When we try to explain things to him, he's defiant and blames us for being "bad parents" - that he's not the parent and he should be able to do whatever to the other kids. He feels that it's their fault. We have other children and he's of the same opinion with them too, but it's more emotional with them as they are closer to his age. That's just one example. Thanksgiving was a nightmare! I am actually glad for the week to be over, and sad that it was such a bad experience for everyone. I am not sure what to do, part of me wants to send him to live with his mom, but I know he would hate us for it. The problem is that his relationship with my husband and I is degrading so rapidly, that there's not much else we can do - he incites us, intentionally and then feels justrified when he finally wears us down. It's exhausting. I would have NEVER spoken to my parents the way he talks to us - I would have had my face slapped off. Whenever things get heated, he gets mean and spiteful and just argues and argues - he says things like we can't touch him or we'll go to jail, and then he taunts and taunts. My husband is taking an anger management class to help him cope with this stuff, but it's really hard to do the right thing all the time when you're constantly being attacked. Sorry for the long winded post - I'd love to chat with someone with similar experiences ... [/QUOTE]
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