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Parent Emeritus
Hello and thanks; advice needed re 27 yr old son not launching
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 747151" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Hi Standing- Welcome. Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. Relapse is considered a part of the addiction cycle now, it's so prevalent. It's more likely that an addict will relapse than not. To me one of the signs of my daughter relapsing is she starts having money problems and it doesn't make sense. I would be highly suspect of your son's increased requests for gas money. If all of your assistance and support were going to be the reason he overcomes his addictions and becomes a responsible adult it surely would have happened by now. This has to be his priority in order for him to succeed. Nothing you say or do will make it more or less likely that he succeeds. I had to learn a lot about boundaries and loving detachment. Sometimes it is still difficult for me, but I'm way, way better than I used to be. As Tanya said- your son will likely ramp up the crazy once you start setting and sticking to boundaries. My daughter nearly drove me mad with endless phone calls, screaming and cursing when I did. It took several months of hanging up when she started being disrespectful and turning off the phones because she would call repeatedly trying to get my attention. Once she got it things were better. She is rarely nasty to me now and if she is and I hang up she doesn't call back. Sending you peace. I know this is a long and difficult road.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 747151, member: 11235"] Hi Standing- Welcome. Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. Relapse is considered a part of the addiction cycle now, it's so prevalent. It's more likely that an addict will relapse than not. To me one of the signs of my daughter relapsing is she starts having money problems and it doesn't make sense. I would be highly suspect of your son's increased requests for gas money. If all of your assistance and support were going to be the reason he overcomes his addictions and becomes a responsible adult it surely would have happened by now. This has to be his priority in order for him to succeed. Nothing you say or do will make it more or less likely that he succeeds. I had to learn a lot about boundaries and loving detachment. Sometimes it is still difficult for me, but I'm way, way better than I used to be. As Tanya said- your son will likely ramp up the crazy once you start setting and sticking to boundaries. My daughter nearly drove me mad with endless phone calls, screaming and cursing when I did. It took several months of hanging up when she started being disrespectful and turning off the phones because she would call repeatedly trying to get my attention. Once she got it things were better. She is rarely nasty to me now and if she is and I hang up she doesn't call back. Sending you peace. I know this is a long and difficult road. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
Hello and thanks; advice needed re 27 yr old son not launching
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