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Hello, update from my he**
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<blockquote data-quote="wakeupcall" data-source="post: 67822" data-attributes="member: 2287"><p>Bette, I could hardly get through this thread, through my own tears. Oh Hon, I've been in your shoes...walking as if there were lead weights in them. First of all, I am not making excuses for your boyfriend, BUT when our son was killed instantly in an auto accident, my husband and I grieved totally differently. I wanted nothing to do with him for the longest time. I just needed to be alone. I didn't want him, my mother, my brother, our beautiful grown daughter, my pastor......NO one. I imagine your boyfriend feels as if Tim were his son and he may be suffering greatly. You see, just because he was not his birth father, he was helping to parent him. I'm not the bio mother of my difficult child either, but if anything were to happen to him.....omg. Each day for you is healing whether it feels like it or not, with or without boyfriend. The pain will never go away, though, and you are a changed woman. You have been thrown into a group you don't want to be a part of, never even really thought about it too much.....the grief-stricken parent. My son was killed thirteen years ago and some days it feels like yesterday, but I no longer dwell on it....because it was eating me alive. I guess it took about five years for me to really come to grips with the facts.</p><p></p><p>At the time I couldn't go to the grocery. For the most part, husband has taken on that job ever since. His favorite foods are everywhere in there and we all know how important food is to a 14-17 year old. I miss him terribly.......and I SO feel your pain. Take the well-wishes of everyone around you and go ahead and mumble under your breath that no one understands. And you're right, they don't unless they have been there, but others want to take some of your pain away. I wish they could.</p><p></p><p>Each member of your family will suffer their own way. Our grown daughter has become so protective of her children she's smothering them. I know in my heart, she's just trying to prevent herself from the type of pain I went through, but she can't. Random tragedies happen in this world. I truly don't know how she feels in her heart......he was not my sibling, he was my son. SHE knows how it feels to be the remaining sibling.</p><p></p><p>My point in this long post......if it makes you feel even the slightest bit better to post here, do it!!!! If you would like to PM me, do it! Allow yourself to cry and moan and scream and shake your head in disbelief. I'm so sorry for your pain, there is nothing like it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wakeupcall, post: 67822, member: 2287"] Bette, I could hardly get through this thread, through my own tears. Oh Hon, I've been in your shoes...walking as if there were lead weights in them. First of all, I am not making excuses for your boyfriend, BUT when our son was killed instantly in an auto accident, my husband and I grieved totally differently. I wanted nothing to do with him for the longest time. I just needed to be alone. I didn't want him, my mother, my brother, our beautiful grown daughter, my pastor......NO one. I imagine your boyfriend feels as if Tim were his son and he may be suffering greatly. You see, just because he was not his birth father, he was helping to parent him. I'm not the bio mother of my difficult child either, but if anything were to happen to him.....omg. Each day for you is healing whether it feels like it or not, with or without boyfriend. The pain will never go away, though, and you are a changed woman. You have been thrown into a group you don't want to be a part of, never even really thought about it too much.....the grief-stricken parent. My son was killed thirteen years ago and some days it feels like yesterday, but I no longer dwell on it....because it was eating me alive. I guess it took about five years for me to really come to grips with the facts. At the time I couldn't go to the grocery. For the most part, husband has taken on that job ever since. His favorite foods are everywhere in there and we all know how important food is to a 14-17 year old. I miss him terribly.......and I SO feel your pain. Take the well-wishes of everyone around you and go ahead and mumble under your breath that no one understands. And you're right, they don't unless they have been there, but others want to take some of your pain away. I wish they could. Each member of your family will suffer their own way. Our grown daughter has become so protective of her children she's smothering them. I know in my heart, she's just trying to prevent herself from the type of pain I went through, but she can't. Random tragedies happen in this world. I truly don't know how she feels in her heart......he was not my sibling, he was my son. SHE knows how it feels to be the remaining sibling. My point in this long post......if it makes you feel even the slightest bit better to post here, do it!!!! If you would like to PM me, do it! Allow yourself to cry and moan and scream and shake your head in disbelief. I'm so sorry for your pain, there is nothing like it. [/QUOTE]
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