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<blockquote data-quote="Blessed Mama" data-source="post: 448277" data-attributes="member: 12458"><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">Hello all. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">I'm new here, and couldn't find an Introduce Yourself section, so I figured I'd start in here. I'm familiar with message boards, but know that each one is unique.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">I'm a single parent of a 16yr old daughter who is having a hard time, and giving me a very hard time. The most frustrating part lately seems to be that each time I think things are improving, we take a step (or several) backwards.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">A little backstory:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">My daughter first exhibited defiant / rebellious / disrespectful behaviors beginning around the age of 12. Prior to my having any real behavioral issues with her, she had been diagnosed ADD and had been on Concerta for a long time. I opted to try going without the medications, and shortyl there after, the negative behavior began. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">Fast forward to now - in December 2010, she suffered a "non-violent sexual assault" at the hands of a male family friend who she has known her entire life. She was initially quite reluctant to press charges, but then did, and then it came out that he had also been accused of a very violent sexual assault on a younger girl. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">My daughter turned 16 in February 2011. By around April, it came to my attention that she had been smoking marijuana. Then she informed me that she was a lesbian, and started dressing in boys clothing. She wound up cutting off all of her hair (which was mid-back length) to a buzz cut. She called 911 one night in early May from a friend's house saying she wanted to harm herself. She was intoxicated at the time. This was followed by a 5 day hospitlization at our state hospital, in the youth ward. Her self injuring behavior escalated (cutting herself, banging her head against a dresser resulting in bruising and swelling of her face) and she was hospitilized twice more - one 7 day, one 10 day stay. After the last hospital stay, she asked to move in with her aunt and uncle. She behaves when with them, but has been teary and emotional. She is currently on Celexa and Trazadone. Her therapist believes she suffers from ADHD and Depression. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">Her behavior has fluctuated between good and bad on her visits home. As recently as Thursday, she gave me a very sweet letter apologizing for her bad behavior. Tonight, she was swearing and refusing to come home. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">We have been through the Department of Youth Services, I've called the police on her several times, DCYF has been involved. She is not willing to proceed with the investigation of the abuse charges, and so the trial has been tabled for now. She was held back this year in school (her second time being held back), and is going to have to repeat her freshman year. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">I feel like I am at the end of my rope. Her father is an alcoholic, currently homeless and unemployed. He goes months without contact, and then reappears. I've tried explaining to her that she does not need to be spending unsupervised time with him, as his lifestyle is not safe at this time, and we wind up arguing. I very recently found out that a friend of mine, whom I've trusted, allowed my daughter to smoke marijuana at her house, and even smoked with her. Her excuse? She doesn't feel strong enough to discipline. I'm disgusted. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">My daughter has been in counselling even prior to these recent events. I'm on the verge of losing my job due to time missed from these episodes and the hospitizations, etc. I'm a single parent with limited resources. I do admit that it feels difficult to enforce certain punishments when I am at work, and I don't have a vehicle (and have been depending on the friend who betrayed me for transportation). </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'tahoma'">All I want is for my daughter to be happy, and to succeed and not have to struggle unnecessarily. I'm feeling very burned out. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blessed Mama, post: 448277, member: 12458"] [FONT=tahoma]Hello all. I'm new here, and couldn't find an Introduce Yourself section, so I figured I'd start in here. I'm familiar with message boards, but know that each one is unique. I'm a single parent of a 16yr old daughter who is having a hard time, and giving me a very hard time. The most frustrating part lately seems to be that each time I think things are improving, we take a step (or several) backwards. A little backstory: My daughter first exhibited defiant / rebellious / disrespectful behaviors beginning around the age of 12. Prior to my having any real behavioral issues with her, she had been diagnosed ADD and had been on Concerta for a long time. I opted to try going without the medications, and shortyl there after, the negative behavior began. Fast forward to now - in December 2010, she suffered a "non-violent sexual assault" at the hands of a male family friend who she has known her entire life. She was initially quite reluctant to press charges, but then did, and then it came out that he had also been accused of a very violent sexual assault on a younger girl. My daughter turned 16 in February 2011. By around April, it came to my attention that she had been smoking marijuana. Then she informed me that she was a lesbian, and started dressing in boys clothing. She wound up cutting off all of her hair (which was mid-back length) to a buzz cut. She called 911 one night in early May from a friend's house saying she wanted to harm herself. She was intoxicated at the time. This was followed by a 5 day hospitlization at our state hospital, in the youth ward. Her self injuring behavior escalated (cutting herself, banging her head against a dresser resulting in bruising and swelling of her face) and she was hospitilized twice more - one 7 day, one 10 day stay. After the last hospital stay, she asked to move in with her aunt and uncle. She behaves when with them, but has been teary and emotional. She is currently on Celexa and Trazadone. Her therapist believes she suffers from ADHD and Depression. Her behavior has fluctuated between good and bad on her visits home. As recently as Thursday, she gave me a very sweet letter apologizing for her bad behavior. Tonight, she was swearing and refusing to come home. We have been through the Department of Youth Services, I've called the police on her several times, DCYF has been involved. She is not willing to proceed with the investigation of the abuse charges, and so the trial has been tabled for now. She was held back this year in school (her second time being held back), and is going to have to repeat her freshman year. I feel like I am at the end of my rope. Her father is an alcoholic, currently homeless and unemployed. He goes months without contact, and then reappears. I've tried explaining to her that she does not need to be spending unsupervised time with him, as his lifestyle is not safe at this time, and we wind up arguing. I very recently found out that a friend of mine, whom I've trusted, allowed my daughter to smoke marijuana at her house, and even smoked with her. Her excuse? She doesn't feel strong enough to discipline. I'm disgusted. My daughter has been in counselling even prior to these recent events. I'm on the verge of losing my job due to time missed from these episodes and the hospitizations, etc. I'm a single parent with limited resources. I do admit that it feels difficult to enforce certain punishments when I am at work, and I don't have a vehicle (and have been depending on the friend who betrayed me for transportation). All I want is for my daughter to be happy, and to succeed and not have to struggle unnecessarily. I'm feeling very burned out. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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