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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 449545" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It does sound to me that she is very confused and experimenting in so many ways. She may be trying drugs as a form of self-medication, but she needs to know that illegal drugs and self-medicating is a blunt instrument.</p><p></p><p>The lesbian thing - she could be correct, she might swing that way and be finally realising it. but the timing of it, coming after the betrayal and sexual assault, seems too convenient for me. In my time I have known a number of lesbians. Some knew they were lesbian from fairly early, and years later are still happily settled with their female lovers. Others were only considering themselves lesbian as a refuge from male betrayal, or fears of male betrayal.</p><p></p><p>The question is - is she running to, or away from? I do not suggest you ask her this as she might misconstrue is as lack of support form you, for her choices. And if she chooses to live lesbian lifestyle, you really don't have much control over this. But it does mean that if she is still confused, she may later on realise that she likes boys far more and if the relationship is on her terms, she will prefer it.</p><p></p><p>As long as you love her despite her choices of gender of sexual partner, I think the lesbian thing will stabilise. Either she really is, or she really isn't. But at the moment I'm not sure if she really knows.</p><p></p><p>The worst thing that can happen here, is that she ends up hurting someone else. But again, you can't control this. All you can do, is support.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, it is so difficult. I hope she can finally feel a greater sense of peace in her thoughts so she doesn't need to keep hurting herself.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 449545, member: 1991"] It does sound to me that she is very confused and experimenting in so many ways. She may be trying drugs as a form of self-medication, but she needs to know that illegal drugs and self-medicating is a blunt instrument. The lesbian thing - she could be correct, she might swing that way and be finally realising it. but the timing of it, coming after the betrayal and sexual assault, seems too convenient for me. In my time I have known a number of lesbians. Some knew they were lesbian from fairly early, and years later are still happily settled with their female lovers. Others were only considering themselves lesbian as a refuge from male betrayal, or fears of male betrayal. The question is - is she running to, or away from? I do not suggest you ask her this as she might misconstrue is as lack of support form you, for her choices. And if she chooses to live lesbian lifestyle, you really don't have much control over this. But it does mean that if she is still confused, she may later on realise that she likes boys far more and if the relationship is on her terms, she will prefer it. As long as you love her despite her choices of gender of sexual partner, I think the lesbian thing will stabilise. Either she really is, or she really isn't. But at the moment I'm not sure if she really knows. The worst thing that can happen here, is that she ends up hurting someone else. But again, you can't control this. All you can do, is support. Hugs, it is so difficult. I hope she can finally feel a greater sense of peace in her thoughts so she doesn't need to keep hurting herself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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