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Isn't it amazing how kids figure out real fast that they have control in the potty area?   If she is doing these things on purpose to get your anger and to say, "See mom, I can do what I want with my potty training." or "you didn't let me do what I wanted so I am going to punish you" try taking some power away from her.  Say, "Oh my, you were not able to get to the potty in time.  That's too bad.  I hate it when I have an accident  It can sometimes be so embarrassing and if I don't clean up right away, I sometimes get a rash on my butt.  Boy does that hurt!  Do you want me to help get you clean clothes or would you rather take care of this in private?  Do you think you need a bath so you don't get a rash?" as if it is really no big deal to you but what a hassle for her.    If she starts a tantrum, "I am sorry, I don't understand you, but since I don't want you talking to me like this, I will let you be alone for a few minutes  When I come back you can decide if you want me to get you clean clothes or not or if I should get a bath ready."

 

Then, start acknowleding periods of times when there are no accidents at home.  (I think if you do this for outside the home she may start having "accidents" on purpose at those times)  Wow, you made it to the potty everytime tonight!!!  No embarrasing accidents.   I bet you feel real good and proud of yourself.   Let's celebrate!!!  Then give a hug, read an extra book, give one extra cookie or 1/2 scoop icecream, ect.

 

However, you believe some of these accidents are truely accidents, ask your doctor.  Maybe there is a reason she is not "feeling" when she has to go.


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